Pages

Friday, May 15, 2015

A Fuller House, Again

The house is asleep in a way it can only be when there are young people inside. The kind of oblivion they can muster spreads through the walls and settles on an older inhabitant, makes me feel drowsy too, like I could easily crawl back under the covers and sleep for a few more hours.

I marvel at the way a house can change its moods and mettle. Is this serene room the same one that housed a playpen in the corner? Or an impromptu dance concert on the floor?

I grew up in several houses; my kids have only had this one. To them it will always be home. But to me it is many homes.

It's the place we moved with a six-month-old baby, certain we'd made a mistake, that it was far too much house. But it's also the place that seemed impossibly crammed eight years ago, stuffed full of kids and books and clothes and shoes.

The clothes and shoes, they will always be with us, but the children, they are gone. Even the one who's asleep upstairs is gone, though she's here for the summer. I know how the empty nest can fill again and I won't be surprised if this one does. What I marvel at is the constancy of the dwelling as life swirls in and around it. Sometimes I just sit here and try to take it all in.