Bluuuue Sky

It's not cerulean or azure or aquamarine. To describe the sky I saw on yesterday's walk, we need a new word. I propose bluuuue. Not blue, or even bluuue. This is bluuuue (four 'u's) at its purest and most intense. The hue of a cloudless sky.

I have a reason for describing this on Father's Day.  Dad was the king of blue skies. He didn't seem to notice the clouds, or if he did, he chose to ignore them.

So in honor of him, and fathers everywhere, the bluest bluuuue sky photo I can find.

Slipping Into History

Today is the 80th anniversary of the Allied landing on the beaches of Normandy. It is also "the moment when D-Day will slip almost entirely from memory into history," says Garrett M. Graff, author of When the Sea Came Alive: An Oral History of D-Day, a 19-hour audiobook.

My knowledge of World War II is also from oral history — Dad's stories about the 35 missions he flew in 1944, including air support on D-Day. He always insisted that his efforts were nothing compared with soldiers on the ground. 

"I don't think the American people appreciate what some of those men did," he told a newspaper reporter in 2009. "Those guys, they deserve all the honors." I think Dad was too modest; being crammed into the tail gunner's seat of a B-17 bomber carried enormous risks and responsibilities. 

Dad was one of the lucky ones. He survived to return, marry, have four children and die peacefully at the age of 90. Like him, most of the boys who stormed the beaches (or flew above them) are now under the ground. As D-Day slips into history, it's up to us to keep it alive. 

(Dad poses beside a B-17 bomber at his air base in Horham, England in 1944.)

Happy 100th!

Today would have been Dad's 100th birthday. He missed it by a little over nine years. I like to think he would have reveled in the day.

A milestone that once seemed impossible to reach is no longer such a feat. I've known a couple of centenarians and a slew of nonagenarians. Dad was briefly one of them, almost 91 when he passed away. 

The last time Dad was at our house, he loosened his tie, grabbed his cane and took to the dance floor. It's a good way to remember him on his birthday ... or any day.

Nine Years

I'd gotten so used to its timekeeping that when it finally stopped I thought at first that it was my watch that was off. But no, it was Dad's. Almost nine years to the day that he left this world (which is today), his watch stopped ticking. 

I felt bereft, as I knew I would. That watch says Dad to me now. I have so few things that were his. I can still remember how it looked on his wrist, peeking out from beneath one of the long-sleeved knit shirts he liked to wear. 

Of course, the watch will keep its prominent position on my dressing table. But its beating heart is gone. 

I tell myself I had it nine years — just like we had Dad for ninety — but it's never enough, is it? 

Taps

Over the weekend I had a chance to do something I've meant to do for years, to be part of an 8th Air Force Historical Society event, thanks to a friend who's a member. My dad flew in the 95th bomb group of the 8th Air Force and was active in both the 95th Bomb Group and 8th Air Force organizations. I cheered him on through the years but never had time to join him.

Now, of course, I wish I had. Because as much as I enjoyed meeting a couple of the WWII veterans present, all up in their 90s, of course, I only missed Dad more.

There was the familiar 8th Air Force insignia, the talk of where stationed, at some village or another in Britain's East Anglia. There were the facts and figures, amazing to recount. In 1942 the 8th Air Force had a dozen members. Two years later, there were 300,000. 

And now they're contracting again, have been for some time, at least when it comes to those who served in WWII. In a crowd of 400-plus ... only seven were veterans of the Second World War. 

Dad's Day

Dad would have been 99 today. It's not a stretch to imagine such a birthday for him. He was almost 91 when he died. 

I'm not sure he would have cared for what this world has become in the eight years since he's been gone: harder, meaner, more confusing. And yet, Dad took his joy from family and friends, so I imagine he would have adjusted to the craziness. 

Because what's important is that he would have seen five granddaughters marry and four become mothers, would have held six (soon to be seven) great-grandchildren in his arms.  He would have relished the new generation, as he relished so much of life. 

But four-score-and-ten is not a shabby lifespan, and he was not complaining at the end. Only grateful for what he had.  As we all were for having him so long. 

(Dad clowning around, as he was wont to do.)

Russian Rhumba

We lost Dad eight years ago today. He was spared the pandemic, the University of Kentucky's Thursday night loss to the St. Peter Peacocks in the first round of NCAA basketball, and now, the worst street fighting in Europe since World War II. 

I wondered this morning, what he would say about Ukraine? I imagine he would think we should be doing more, but he would also recognize the difficulty and delicacy of the U.S. position.

I do know he would be retelling one of his favorite WWII stories, about the time he visited Mirgorod as part of the shuttle bombing missions known as Operation Frantic. 

Dad was in the second of those runs, which departed England on June 21, 1944, part of a task force that included 114 B-17 bombers and 70 P-51 fighters, which Dad (and many others) called "little friends." I probably owe my existence to these little friends since their addition to the war halted the unsustainable losses of the heavy bombers and their crews. 

Dad's plane, part of the 95th Bomb Group, landed in Mirgorod, which, as Dad later wrote in an article he called "Russian Rhumba" published in a bomb group newsletter, proved to be a good decision. The 43 B-17s that landed in Poltava were destroyed in an overnight raid by the Luftwaffe, and, says Dad, "it didn't take a Ph.D. in foreign affairs from Harvard to see the outrageous deception of our Russian allies." 

Dad ended up flying deeper into the Ukrainian section of the Soviet Union, landing in what was then known as Kharkov and spending a few days with Russian soldiers. One of them "wanted to exchange firearms with me," Dad wrote. "I was wearing a G.I. 45 and he was wearing a Russian issue. Needless to say, I had to say nyet to that proposal."

Reading this story, so full of "Dad'isms" that make me smile and cry at the same time, is a good thing to do today, when our hearts reach out to the descendants of those people my father met so many years ago.

Eighty Years

Shortly after publishing yesterday's post, I realized that yesterday was the 80th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Eighty years ... 

I looked back to see what I'd written on the 70th anniversary, and there was something I'd forgotten about: a special showing of the movie "12 O'Clock High" at a Lexington, Kentucky, cinema, which Dad had organized and hosted. 

I remember that now, how excited he was about it, how he had a little display area out in the vestibule of the movie house, with uniforms and medals and other memorabilia loaned by members of the Kentucky chapter of the 8th Air Force Historical Society.

Now, the World War II veterans are almost all gone. One of the more famous, Bob Dole, just passed away at the age of 98. My dad was not one of the more famous, except to me and the rest of us who loved him. But Dad was World War II to me, and since he's been gone, I read as little about it as possible. 

(Photo: Genealogy Trails History Group)

Luck of the Irish

Most people assume my Irish roots come from Dad's side of the family. Something about the last name of Cassidy tips them off, I guess! But Dad's family has been in Kentucky for generations, perhaps since the Revolutionary War, and he always seemed surprised when someone thought he hailed from the auld sod. 

Mom was the Irish one. She was proud of her lineage and traced her Concannon, Scott, Long and Hughes roots back to Counties Clare and Galway. She made us wear little green shamrocks made of green pipe-cleaners every March 17, back when it wasn't cool to be green.

But it's Dad I want to write about this morning. He would be 98 today, so I've been thinking about him and his way of looking at the world. 

Dad was an optimist and an extrovert who took joy in ordinary pleasures: his first cup of coffee in the morning ("ah, Brazilian novocaine," he would say), a bowl of popcorn after dinner, his wife and children and grandchildren, whom he adored. 

He never tired of telling us how lucky he was to be our father, a compliment I threw right back at him as I grew older and (sort of) wiser. But he was lucky in the way that many of his generation were: tried and tested by early hardship and provided with free college, a low-cost mortgage and a trip to Europe aboard the Queen Elizabeth courtesy of Uncle Sam (though he had to fly 35 missions in a B-17 bomber to pay for it).

Most of all, though, he made his own luck. When the tough times came, which they did, Dad just plowed through them. Gratitude came easily to him. Luck, too. Whether it was from being "Irish" or just from being Dad, I'll never know.

A Repost for Father's Day

For today, a repost from 2011, when Dad and I spent Father's Day touring his old neighborhood, which he liked to call the "culturally deprived North Side." Reading it now makes me miss him even more.

Sometimes the old brain is too full to process what it has stored. Today is one of those days. A high school reunion, the wedding of a dear friend's son and now Father's Day have all run together this weekend to create a mass of memories, thoughts and impressions. Should I write about dancing last night with people I haven't seen in decades? Or the tears that surprised me as I watched Jean's son kiss his bride?

A second ago I showed my dad photos of his father that my cousin had posted on Facebook. The kitchen of my Dad's boyhood home on Idlewild Court — a home we're about to see on a sentimental journey through the streets of Dad's past — came alive again in one of those pictures.

The multiple layers of meaning in that event — layers of nostalgia, wonder and mystery — are about as close to depicting this weekend as I can muster.

The Luckiest Generation

Dad would have been 97 today, a most beauteous day, as many of his birthdays were. I've been thinking a lot about Dad's generation, often called the "greatest." I think you could make a case that it was one of the luckiest, too.

Born into a Depression, members of Dad's generation were schooled in poverty and deprivation. They learned early to rely on themselves. Families were close then, and many were multi-generational.

Dad joined the Air Force before he was drafted, and thus began the most romantic and far-flung chapter of his life. He was a preacher's kid from Kentucky who was suddenly touring European capitals (albeit from 25,000 feet while scrunched into the tail gunner's seat of a B-17).

Afterward, Dad's generation returned to sweethearts and GI loans and one of the greatest economic expansions of all time. They came back to joy and acclaim. They had saved the free world, after all. That's a lot to do before the age of 30.

Medicine matured as they did. They lived much longer than they would have had there been no antibiotics or bypass surgery. Which is not to say they did not suffer. But most of them lived lives neatly tucked between the 1918 Flu and COVID-19.

Which means that, world-events-wise, Dad's generation suffered more at the beginning of their life span than the end. They came of age expecting little and left this world with much. They didn't have it easy, but they did have it early. One of the greatest generations? Absolutely. But one of the luckiest, too.

More Fragile

On this day I will always associate with Dad (six years today), I think about him and his generation, what they had to deal with — a depression, a world war, polio, scarlet fever, random infections which could easily lead to death in those days before antibiotics.

It was a more fragile world but not a worse one.

Where will this worldwide pandemic lead us? Right now it's to confusion and panic. But where will we be, what will we be like, when the dust settles?  Will we let fear transform us to meanness? Or will we become wiser, kinder, more prepared, chastened to a greater compassion?

For us, too, a more fragile world could, perhaps, be a better one.

The Boys in the Air

Today, as we celebrate the 75th anniversary of D-Day, I think not just of the boys who stormed the beaches but also of the boys who flew above them. One of them was my dad.

Frank Cassidy was 20 years old when he took the trip of a lifetime, courtesy of the U.S. government. It was an all-expenses voyage to and from what Dad called "Jolly Old" England. He was stationed at a base outside the village of Horham in East Anglia.

On June 6, 1944, Dad had just turned 21. He had become adept at crawling into the tail-gunner's seat of a B-17 bomber and firing the gun when necessary. That day, he and his crew would fly two missions, softening up enemy defenses, backing up the infantry, the men who were landing and dying on the beaches of Normandy.

Dad always insisted that what he did was nothing compared with them. "I don't think the American people appreciate what some of those men did," he told a newspaper reporter in 2009. "Those guys, they deserve all the honors."

With all due respect, Dad, I disagree. I think you deserve the honors, too.

Singing with Dad

Sunday was the nativity of John the Baptist, a feast I don't ever recall celebrating before. Something new in the liturgy? One of those days you notice every few years, when it falls on a Sunday?

We sang "Shall We Gather at the River," a hymn I always associate with summer tent revivals — and not one of my favorites. To me, it sounds "Protestant"— a non-ecumenical term to be sure but the only one I can come up with. It's not the kind of hymn I sang as a kid, one with verses in Latin. Singing it has always made me feel a bit strange and out of place.

But now I have an antidote for hymns like "Shall We Gather" or "How Great Thou Art." Whenever we sing them now, I imagine Dad standing next to me, belting out the melody in his rich baritone. Dad was the Protestant in my life. He went to tent revivals and Wednesday night services as a kid. He knew the score.

So I follow his lead, sing out loud and strong. I can almost feel him nudge my elbow. "See, Annie," he winks. "That's not too bad, is it?"

My Musical Dad

Today would have been Dad's 95th birthday, and he would have gotten a kick out of it. Imagine me such an old man, he'd say, with his trademark grin.

I've been thinking a lot about Dad and music as I practice for the concert next weekend. How he made sure Tchaikovsky or Rachmaninoff was blaring from the stereo, about his excitement finding the "Suite from Spartacus" in a bargain bin.

Dad grew up on church and popular music; classical music he found on his own. He never grew tired of telling me how: It was watching "Fantasia" that turned him on (and not in the way that my generation got turned on during "Fantasia"). He heard Leopold Stokowski and the Philadelphia Symphony play Beethoven's "Pastorale" and Mussorgsky's "Night on Bald Mountain" — and music was never the same.

In fact, Dad was on a committee tasked to find the money to fly the Central Kentucky Youth Orchestra to a music educator's conference in Russia. Since the invitation was unexpected, he and the other committee members had only a few months to finance the trip. Dad used all his sales personality and charm on business and civic leaders — "our budgets were committed months ago," they demurred — and even on the U.S. State Department, the closest he came to a bull's eye. They were going to charter a military plane for us — quite a feat during those Cold War days.

In the end Dad didn't quite pull it off, but it gave him lots of stories to tell. Now Dad is gone, so I tell the stories for him.

(Photo: Walt Disney Pictures. Don't get me for copyright infringement; this is for my dad!)

Wild Blue Yonder

Turned on my iPod the day before yesterday and took pot luck. The song that was playing: "Off We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder," the Air Force song. I downloaded it for Dad's funeral and it lives on in my music files.

Hearing it by surprise didn't make me sad. It made me smile. It was as if Dad had suddenly inserted himself into the day and was walking with me along the West Virginia lane.  I set the iPod on repeat and listened to it four or five times. It's an upbeat song, and it quickened my step.

I've been hearing the melody in my head ever since. But the only words I can recall are the first and last lines. Here, in honor of Memorial Day, are the rest:

Off we go into the wild blue yonder,

Climbing high into the sun;

Here they come zooming to meet our thunder, 

At 'em boys, Give 'er the gun! (Give 'er the gun now!) 

Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,

Off with one helluva roar! 

We live in fame or go down in flame. Hey! 

Nothing'll stop the U.S. Air Force!

VE Day Plus One

I heard them before I saw them, a great roar that meant business. I craned my head out the car window, but the tree cover made it impossible to see the planes overhead. I was sitting in line to enter Great Falls Park, an idea that I realized wasn't so very original as I saw the dozens of cars ahead of and (soon) behind me.

Less than a few thousand feet away was the Potomac River. The World War II aircraft assembled yesterday would fly down the river to the Capitol. It was my best chance to see the planes in flight.

Finally, I reached the gate, paid $5, found a parking spot and ran — full-out ran — to the overlook. As I did, I heard more engines. A group of four planes rumbled overhead. This was enough. Just to see and hear these four.

But oh, it gets better. Because the planes were actually circling above us before they flew downtown, so we saw most of the formations twice. And it quickly became apparent that I was standing with a bunch of die-hard WWII aircraft enthusiasts. "Look, it's a P-38," said one. "You can tell by the twin fuselage."

Maybe it was just me, but I think most of us were there not just for ourselves but for others. The man standing next to me said his father was a tail gunner in a B-29. And when I nodded and smiled at one woman about my age, I noticed her eyes were as full as mine.

One thing I'm sure about — and I'm not sure about much — is that once our loved ones are gone, we become their eyes and ears. Yesterday, Dad was all around me — in the warm spring sunshine, in the contrailed sky. And he was there especially when the B-17s flew out of the clouds, over our heads and into the limitless blue beyond.

B-17 in flight

Wild Blue Yonder

It's the 70th anniversary of VE (Victory in Europe) Day and what I'm thinking about most is that my dad is not here to see it. How he would have loved to see the planes roaring down Independence Avenue and soaring above the Capitol.

It's being called the "Arsenal of Democracy Flyover" and is the largest array of World War II aircraft ever assembled.

If we were watching it with Dad, we would have needed no cheat sheet; he could have identified all the aircraft himself with his still-sharp (at 90 years of age!) eyes.

"There's a Mustang, there's a Wildcat, there's a Lightning," he would have said. Of course, he would have been most excited to see his beloved B-17 bomber, the Flying Fortress. I grew up hearing stories of that plane and his special spot in its, the tail gunner position. He flew 35 missions over Europe — two on D Day — and in every one of them he was facing backwards.

The WWII veterans are over 90 now, but there will be a great gathering of them today, too. This flyover is in their honor — and the honor of all their fallen comrades. 

(The Missing Man formation.)

The Watch

After Dad died (a year ago today), I brought his watch home with me to Virginia. He had worn it almost to the end, said it drove him crazy not to know what time it was.

It's a plain watch with a metal case, easy to read, with a simple leather band bent at the second smallest hole. It sits on my dressing table — one of the last things I see before I go to bed at night and leave for work in the morning.

I brought it home because it's a small, humble thing that belonged to Dad for years. Now it reminds me not only of him but of all that's happened since he's been gone. The college graduations, college returns, graduate school and medical school acceptances, trips to Africa and Afghanistan and back. All the mornings without him at the table, sipping what he liked to call "Brazilian Novocain." All the trips home without him walking out to greet me, rubbing his hands together in that way that he did.

The watch reminds me, too, that time is the only currency we have. Dad spent his well. Which is why his wife, children and grandchildren, his coffee buddies, basketball buddies and friends old and new — why all of us smile through our tears on this day. How we miss him! But how lucky we were to have him for so long. 

My Favorite Veteran

Until March 20, 2014, World War II was for me a living entity. A part of history, yes, of course. But because my father was a tail gunner in a B-17 bomber and flew 35 raids out of East Anglia, it was also a part of family lore. I grew up hearing tales of London during the war, meeting girls under the clock in Victoria station, coming back to base to find empty bunks and chairs after a raid.

Since Dad died, the personal part of the war is by and large over me for me. It's there only in a sepia-tinged way. Not my memories but someone else's.

On the other hand, Veteran's Day has taken on new meaning. Mom and I went to the cemetery on Sunday, left flowers by Dad's headstone. I looked for a small American flag to plant there, but small American flags are in short supply in November.

I stood for a minute in the wan autumn sun, looked out at the rolling hills, the grazing cattle in the distance. Dad would like this spot, would probably make a joke about it — hey, not bad for a grave.

The optimism and jauntiness that served him well in wartime kept him going throughout his long life. And it spilled over to others, too; it certainly did to me.

So Veteran's Day is no longer a musty, creaky holiday. It's about doing one's duty with a wink and a quip. It's about grace under pressure. It's about Dad.