An Appetizer

You'd think I would know what it was, but when I heard the pop last night in the car, my first thought was that it was coming from the radio. 

Instead, it was coming from the fireworks that were exploding off to my left, filling the night sky with light as I drove north toward home. 

I could only catch glimpses of the display, but they were a perfect appetizer for tonight's full-course meal.

Ancient Artifact

I was stopped on my morning walk by a friendly neighbor. He rolled down his car window and asked, "Are you missing a Christmas tree ornament?" It's almost July. Tree trimmings are not on my mind. I uttered something noncommittal. 

"Because we found one in front of your house, near where you might have left the tree for pickup. It was sticking out of the dirt there. A rocking horse?"

Well yes, there was a rocking horse ornament, metal with a looped string to attach it. Could it have escaped my multiple searches through the fir branches in early January?

It could — and it did. The ornament has, uh, weathered, shall we say. It looks like something from the 18th century, not the late 20th. But now it's home again, thanks to a kind neighbor. 

A Birthday

Through the years, birthdays become attached to the people who hold them. Today will always be Nancy's day, even though Nancy is gone. 

It was on this day, long ago, that I landed in Europe for the first time. The date wasn't accidental. It was Nancy's 20th birthday, and I was meeting her in Luxembourg. We had planned to be chamber maids in a Swiss hotel, but our employment fell through at the last minute. Instead, we traveled through Europe for two months on what I will politely call a lean budget. 

We trudged through London in rain so heavy I thought my shoes would never dry out. We explored what seemed like every Viennese hovel in which Beethoven had ever lived (and there were a lot of them). We toured Paris, Venice, Florence, Rome and Pisa. We scrambled to find places to sleep, and sometimes they were train compartments. 

The trip cemented our friendship, brought it through the decades. I think of our travels now with great wonder and gladness. They bring Nancy closer, which is where I want her to be. 

(Nancy and I spent many hours in train stations, though not this one, which is in Edinburgh.) 

Bluuuue Sky

It's not cerulean or azure or aquamarine. To describe the sky I saw on yesterday's walk, we need a new word. I propose bluuuue. Not blue, or even bluuue. This is bluuuue (four 'u's) at its purest and most intense. The hue of a cloudless sky.

I have a reason for describing this on Father's Day.  Dad was the king of blue skies. He didn't seem to notice the clouds, or if he did, he chose to ignore them.

So in honor of him, and fathers everywhere, the bluest bluuuue sky photo I can find.

50 Stars

It's Flag Day, a holiday you don't hear much about but which I usually remember. I looked it up and learned that it commemorates the day when the Continental Congress approved the design of a flag for the United States — June 14, 1777. At that point, the flag had 13 stars and 13 stripes. 

Until 1912, flags weren't as proscribed as they are now. Much was left in the hands of individual flag-makers.  At one point, there were 15 stripes and 15 stars — honoring Vermont and my home state of Kentucky, in addition to the original 13 colonies. 

But adding a star and a stripe for every new state became cumbersome, and by the early 19th century, new states earned a star but not a stripe.

Now our flag has 50 stars, of course. I wonder if there will ever be more. 

Best Present Ever!

Today there's another little person in the world, my newest grandchild, who just gave me the best birthday present ever: arriving yesterday at 6:30 p.m., just hours before the day I came into the world a few (ahem) years ago.

Who knows what triggers labor. I don't know the latest research. But I like to think there's something magical about it. At least two of my three children would have different birthdays if they were of this generation. Doctors don't let women go two weeks beyond their due dates anymore. 

But this little girl came on her own steam, at her own time. She decided she wanted her own special day. I can't wait to meet her!

Memorial at Ball's Bluff

I couldn't visit my parents' graves at a national cemetery in Kentucky, so yesterday I thought I'd do the next best thing: visit a national cemetery in Virginia. Arlington immediately sprang to mind ... and just as quickly left it as I thought about the traffic.

Instead, I found a small national cemetery — the third smallest in the U.S., as a matter of fact — located near a Civil War battlefield, Ball's Bluff. You can hike down to the Potomac, which Union soldiers crossed before the battle on October 21, 1861. 

The skirmish did not go well for them. The Confederates prevailed, just as they had at the Battle of Bull Run a few months earlier, and a U.S. senator,  Edward Baker, was killed. His death is commemorated with a marker, and the small walled cemetery there holds the remains of 54 Union soldiers. 

It was a warm day, but the paths were shady, and at the trail's end, the Potomac River was calm and peaceful, a contrast to that day ... and so many others.

New Citizen Abo

Almost five years ago, his father stood with others from around the world and promised to defend this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic. My son-in-law Appolinaire recited the oath, shook hands with a customs officer and received a certificate of naturalization. 

Today, Appolinaire and my daughter will watch as their son becomes an American citizen. Prince arrived in the U.S. from Benin, West Africa, at age 11, on the first birthday of his baby sister.  She will be in the audience today, as will all of us, watching with pride as Prince, now 13, receives a gift he may not understand as well as his father did but which he will come to appreciate in time. 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

It's still a remarkable statement, still a wondrous philosophy on which to build a nation. And when you see the fervor with which new citizens embrace it, our country and its founding ideals feel as fresh and extraordinary as they did almost 250 years ago. 

(A snapshot from a 2019 naturalization ceremony)

For Nancy

I met Nancy on our first day at Hanover College when we were homesick 18-year-olds. We missed our families, we loved to travel, we lived across the hall from each other. So we neglected our bio lab reports and stayed up late to hatch crazy schemes. Maybe we'd take a tramp steamer across the Atlantic or be chambermaids in a Swiss hotel. We didn't quite pull off those adventures, but we did travel through Europe for two months on $5 ($3?) a day, surviving on baguettes and water. We'd gotten so skinny that Nancy's own grandmother didn't recognize her when she picked us up at the airport. 

Nancy and I stayed close through college and early adulthood. When Tom (another Hanoverian) and I moved to northern Virginia, Nancy, who'd lived here since grad school, quickly became an honorary aunt to our three daughters. 

Through the years, Nancy was at most every birthday party, graduation and other special event. She's part of Suzanne's first memory because it was Aunt Nancy who took care of her when Claire was born. Nancy even loved our sweet rascal of a dog, Copper. 

Nancy was a lawyer, historian and indexer extraordinaire. A proud member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, she traced her lineage back to Revolutionary War stock. One of her first and most notable jobs was at Mount Vernon, Washington's home. 

Nancy continued to travel the country and the world, skiing in Colorado, bicycling in the Netherlands, visiting Israel, Jordan, Greece and Eastern Europe. For the last eight years or so, her travel has been up and down I-95 as she spent much time in Massachusetts caring for her parents. A devoted daughter, a loving sister, an exemplary friend. 

Three weeks ago, we learned that Nancy, always caring for others, was seriously ill herself. Friends and family flocked to her side. Her older sister dropped everything and virtually lived at the hospital. We saw Nancy as much as we could, but not nearly enough. It's never enough when you can't imagine the world without the person you're visiting. 

Nancy slipped away over the weekend. I still can't believe it. I wonder if I ever will. 

(Nancy, right, with our pal Peggy, another dear college friend)

A Confluence

It happened regularly and would have happened today, which is both Mother's Day and Dad's birthday. I would make the trip out to Kentucky then, figuring the confluence gave me two reasons to visit. 

I always felt a bit bad for Dad on those days, worrying that the luster of his special day was dimmed a bit by having to share it with Mom. But Dad didn't seem to mind. 

Now I have so many reasons to revel in this day, which celebrates both my parents and on which I will see or hear from my own precious daughters and grandchildren. 

It's a confluence all right. 

Anniversary of a Masterpiece

Now I know why I was hearing snippets of Beethoven's 9th Symphony on the radio Tuesday. It was the two-hundredth anniversary of its premiere. For two centuries now we humans have had this masterwork at our disposal. 

Yesterday I read an account of its creation on the Marginalian. I'd heard some of this before, but I didn't know about Beethoven's devotion to Schiller, whose "Ode to Joy" the symphony's last movement celebrates, or the piece's long gestation period. I like to think of the notes rattling around in the composer's head as he took one of his long walks through Vienna. 

Beethoven insisted on conducting, though he was totally deaf by that point.  He was allowed to do so with the proviso that another conductor be present as a "backup." This conductor instructed the musicians to look only at him. 

When the last notes sounded the audience at first fell silent, perhaps aware even then that they had witnessed not just a concert but a moment in history. And then, in the words of the Marginalian's Maria Popova, "the gasping silence broke into a scream of applause. People leapt to their feet, waving their handkerchiefs and chanting his name. Beethoven, still facing the orchestra and still waving his arms to the delayed internal time of music only he could hear, noticed none of it, until Karoline Unger [the contralto soloist] stood up, took his arm, and gently turned him around."

(Beethoven by Julian Schmid)

A Gathering of Writers

I spent Saturday with 200 other writers at the 2024 Washington Writers Conference. Some of us pitched ideas to agents. Others attended panels. A few of us made sure the day was running smoothly. But all of us were our own writerly selves, and that was, at least for me, why the day was such a tonic.

Writing is a solitary occupation, with much staring at blank pages and screens. It can also be accompanied by self-questioning and doubt: How can I say that better? Should I say that at all? Will anyone read this?

When writers come together they share those questions, which eases those doubts. 

In one of the day's more memorable lines, James Grady, author of Six Days of the Condor, said, "Writing is a cross between a heroin addiction and the sex drive. It's a hunger that drives us forward."

I looked around, and every head in the room was nodding yes.

(Above: Paul Dickson speaks to the crowd after receiving the Washington Independent Review of Books Lifetime Achievement Award. Dickson has written more than 60 nonfiction books. He encouraged attendees to support each other.)

Photo Finish!

A photo finish was just what we needed yesterday, or at least just what I needed. A chance to lose the self in the moment, the moment being the "most exciting two minutes in sports," the Kentucky Derby. 

In this case, those two minutes were followed by several more minutes of uncertainty as judges studied a photograph of the race's conclusion, the first time since 1996 that such a move has been necessary. When the ruling came down — Mystik Dan by a nose — the crowd erupted. The 18-1 shot had bested Sierra Leone (9-2) and Forever Young (7-1). 

To see those three thoroughbreds thundering to the finish line, looking for all the world like a single unit, was to see grace in motion.

(A 1953 photo finish of the first triple dead heat in harness racing. Photo: Wikipedia)

Taking Comfort

What do you write about when one of your oldest, dearest friends lies full of cancer in a hospital bed? The same thing you write about when your parents are dying, when you’re sick or confused or worn out. You write about the world around you.

It’s the second day of May. Roses are budding, birds are nesting, clematis is blooming. Last night, the first hummingbird of the season made its appearance. It’s a perfect spring morning.

Not perfect for everyone, of course, but at this moment, I feel its perfection. And I take comfort in describing it, parsing it, moving it from the real world onto the page.

Poetry in Prose

A salute in prose to National Poetry Month, 30 days devoted to verse, to words dense and encapsulated. It ends today. 

There is, as far as I know, no National Essay Month, no time set aside for the genre I know best, the one which at its root means "to try."

The essay is the right genre for me, earnest scribbler that I am, and it is, I think, good for many of us. At the very least it's a genre most of us know. Who hasn't written a letter or report? Or proofread a college essay?

And so, on this last day of National Poetry Month,  I'm thinking of one of my favorite essays. Read it if you have time — it only takes three minutes — and tell me, is it not poetry in prose?

With Its Diadem

I took an evening walk last night, one week after the eclipse. Without thinking I headed west, toward the setting sun. 

I think of our nearest star differently now, having seen it, well, naked is not exactly the word. Exposed isn't either. Transformed? Chastened? I won't use Emily Dickinson's phrase "without its diadem" because a corona is a diadem if ever I saw one.

It's more that the sun and I (and millions of other people) now have a special bond. We've been through something together. So when I watch it sink low in the sky and redden the horizon, I think of when the horizon reddened in every direction. I remember the cool air and the bird song and the glowing white ring.

It's nice to be reminded of all that.

(Photo: NASA)

In the End

Back home now after two 12-hour drives that bookended a day of planetary splendor. First, I want to credit the supporting cast, the resplendent redbud trees that lined the highway and gave my weary eyes something to feast on, counteracting the white-line fever. 

And the clouds themselves, which provided a light show late Sunday as crepuscular rays slanted down to the flat, black, Indiana fields, already plowed, waiting to be planted.  The clouds that politely parted on Monday, letting the sun and moon steal the show. The clouds that returned Tuesday, making for a muted and pleasant drive east.

But it was Earth's star and satellite that stole the show. Our own sun, in a form I'd never seen before. Not blotted out but transformed, covered enough to let its true splendor shine forth "like shining from shook foil." 

Since Monday afternoon I've been trying to put the feeling into words. It was awe-inspiring, yes. Once-in-a-lifetime, yes again. Most of all, it was comforting. It was light winning out in the end. 

(Monday, April 8, 3:04 p.m.)

Total Eclipse

The temperature dropped.  Birds sang their roosting songs. And then, the sun went away. All that was left was a ring of fire. 

Our safety glasses came off, someone blasted "A Total Eclipse of the Heart," and for almost four minutes we gaped in amazement at the darkened world, the weird twilight, our hilltop transformed.

I looked up and around, to the left and the right, marveled at the 360-degree "sunset." I felt a shiver up my spine that had nothing to do with the temperature. And then, it was over. 

"This was the universe about which we have read so much and never before felt," wrote Annie Dillard in an essay called "Total Eclipse," "the universe as a clockwork of loose spheres, flung at stupefying, unauthorized speeds."

I looked at my photos, none of which captured the corona, and there, glimmering in the lower right-hand corner of one, was a single white dot. It was the planet Venus — in the middle of an Indiana afternoon. 

Totality or Bust

The idea was growing all week, fed by accounts of those who'd experienced a total eclipse in 2017 or earlier. It's a lot different than 80 or 90 percent, they said. If you can drive to totality, do it.

And so we did, shoving off early Sunday, bound for Washington, Indiana, where the moon will completely block the sun — and where we have kind and accommodating relatives.

It's totality or bust. Now let's hope the clouds stay away. 

Saúde, Skål, Sláinte!

It's St. Patrick's Day, time to wear green, play Irish music and offer toasts of good cheer. 

In Madeira, you won't be drinking Guinness but poncha, which is made from sugar cane rum and either orange or lemon juice. It's sweet and sour and a couple of them will make you forget your troubles. 

Since we've been drinking it with folks from Scandinavia, we've been saying "cheers!" or skål!" rather than the Portuguese "saúde!" 

But today we really should say, "sláinte!"