Nothing

I woke up this morning, glanced at my calendar, and found ... nothing. Oh, there are a couple of errands to run, but there are no trips, excursions, parties or concerts. Nothing I absolutely have to do. 

How lovely nothing can be. Because nothing is potential: a lazy afternoon in the hammock, an hour of weeding, or, what's more likely, a few hours of reading and study. (Taking two classes this semester has me hopping!)

But right now, for this moment, nothing is exactly that. And I'm going to revel in it.   

Inheriting the Sun

It took a poison ivy search to bring them to light, a careful combing of the backyard in preparation for a children's party here this weekend. At first I didn't know what they were, saw only the fallen petals, tiny blossoms in the grass.

Then I looked up, saw the bent boughs of the crepe myrtle shining in the sun. It's my $2 tree, one of the stock I purchased from the Arbor Day Foundation years ago and planted without much hope. It's 20 feet tall ... and it's blooming. 

Vibrant pink flowers are weighing down the spindly top of the unpruned tree, blooming earlier than the other crepe myrtles in the yard, which are, unfortunately, planted in the shade. 

But this little guy inherited the sun, grabbed the rays when the big oaks came down. He is reaping the harvest. We all are.

Passing on Genesis

I've been waiting months to nab a library copy of Marilynne Robinson's Reading Genesis. I've read most of Robinson's fiction (incandescent!) and some of her nonfiction (always erudite and thought-provoking). In fact, she's one of my favorite authors.

When I cracked open her latest, though, I wasn't sure I was up to the challenge. Nothing against Robinson, but Reading Genesis deserves a more clear-eyed reading than I can give it now. This is a book for cuddling with on a cold winter's evening. It's about concentrated mental effort, the kind I don't have much of when days are long and nights are short and the mercury is topping 90 every day.

Feeling this way about the book makes me wonder about the seasonality of our reading choices. Might I have finished Ulysses if I'd attempted it in September, with the crisp attentiveness of a new academic year? After all, that's when I finally completed The Power Broker. 

On the other hand, it's good to take the measure of a book before you start reading it, to save its revelations for another day. I'm sorry to pass on Genesis. But — at least for now — I will. 

(Photo: Detail of Sistine Chapel ceiling, courtesy Wikipedia)

Time and Tides

The walks come when they will, when I wake up and make my way to the beach. The tides have their own rhythms, drawn from moon and sun and gravity. 

When I stroll the beach, I'm part of the elements, pulled into their orbit, at one with sand and sea.

Time passes slowly. Eternal time, at least for an hour or two. 

Happy Early Solstice!

Today at 4:51 p.m., the northern hemisphere of our planet officially enters its hottest season. It's the earliest solstice in 228 years, they're saying, since George Washington was president.

I've been thinking of George Washington lately, what with the discovery of 35 bottles of preserved cherries recently found at his home, Mount Vernon. Now I'll think of him again, enjoying the longest day of the year, perhaps in Philadelphia, then the capital of these United States. A few months later, he will deliver his farewell address. 

But back to the solstice, which is early this year because of leap year and our imperfect calendar. I could have waited one more day for it — savored the anticipation — but there's no way to stop a celestial body when it has made up its mind. 

And so I prepare to drain as much daylight and happiness from this day as I can. It's the longest one; it can spare it. 

(A favorite sunrise shot, the beach at Chincoteague, April 2016.)

A Confluence

It happened regularly and would have happened today, which is both Mother's Day and Dad's birthday. I would make the trip out to Kentucky then, figuring the confluence gave me two reasons to visit. 

I always felt a bit bad for Dad on those days, worrying that the luster of his special day was dimmed a bit by having to share it with Mom. But Dad didn't seem to mind. 

Now I have so many reasons to revel in this day, which celebrates both my parents and on which I will see or hear from my own precious daughters and grandchildren. 

It's a confluence all right. 

Taking a Leap

It's Leap Day, a bonus, a gift, an intermittent reminder that we live in a universe with rules of its own. Yes, we can parcel our annual passage around the sun into 365 tidy intervals, but there will be hours left over, almost six of them. Adding an extra day every four years keeps our calendars in sync with the seasons. 

This year I'll experience fewer of these extra hours. Jet travel will erase them. 

Still, it's not a bad way to celebrate Leap Year: by leaping into the future, embarking on a journey, landing in a place I can scarcely imagine but will soon (I hope) see. 

(Lisbon is our first port of call, but only to catch a connecting flight.)

A Prediction

So we have finally come to the end of January, the longest month. I'm convinced it has at least 40 days. No wait, that's Lent, and it will be arriving soon enough. 

But today we're in the clear. It's February 2, and the groundhog has predicted an early spring. Based on the blooming snowdrops and hellebores, on the inch-long daffodil shoots in the front yard and the faint fuzz of bloom on the witch hazel tree in back, I'd say the groundhog's prediction may be true. 

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association, though, the rodent has been right only 40 percent of the time. So I won't pack away the hats, gloves and wool sweaters just yet. I won't wish him wrong, either.

Still a Baby

The new year is no longer the shiny new penny that shows up from time to time in my change purse. It has dulled around the edges. But when I look at the days proportionately — 18 out of 366 — 2024 is still in its infancy. A resolution stands a chance with odds like that.

Which is why I trundled out to a yoga class at 8:30 on the coldest morning of the year yesterday. Not just for the stretching and the strengthening, but also for the meditative aspect of it. 

The trip was worth it. The class was small, and the instructor was experienced. She took us through a variety of poses and encouraged us to use our breath to get into and out of them. Studio lights were low, music was soft. When I left, the new year seemed young again. 

(Ah, to be as limber as a baby! Photo: CCC)

Double Digits

January takes its time. It does not rush. It dawdles. It sashays down the runway of months with all the model moves. The turn, the pivot, the pout, the graceful sweep. 

I don't want to be rude, but get moving, Jan. We know your power — your winds, rain, snow and cold. We know what you can do. We know you have the days to do it in, too: a full complement of 31.At least we're in the double digits now.

In my house the Christmas tree has come down, the decorations are boxed and shelved, the living room corner is dark and boring. 

Spring has been known to peek around the edges of February, but there's one long month in its way. A month that feels like it should already be over. I'm talking about you, Jan.

Two Minutes

The tea has two more minutes to steep. I have things to do. Can I write a two-minute post? Yes, I can, though it will not be one of the best ones I've ever written. It may not even be mediocre. But it will be completed.

This is not the way I typically commune with the page, but I'm deadline-driven enough that when necessary I can put on some speed.

There's only one thing about a two-minute post — or at least this two-minute post. It's only about writing a two-minute post. Nothing else.

Darkness to Light

At 6:45 there is barely any light in the sky. Holiday displays mark the boundaries of street and yard. Our beacon, as they’re intended to be. As for other illumination, it’s still scarce. How easy it is this time of year to think that darkness is winning.

I look out my office window, can barely make out each tree trunk. But the longer I stare, the more individual limbs and branches begin to show themselves, a filigree of darkness against the lightening clouds. The sky is a blotter sopping up the light. Darkness still reigns on ground level; nothing distinct down there yet. No trampoline, garden bench or witch hazel tree. All of that is out of sight, a void. Instead, my eyes are drawn toward the sky, and toward a faint blush of pink gathering around the tree line.

My window faces south, so the big show is out of sight, to my left. I walk into the other room, peer out the window. Dawn barely underway. A smudge of red on the horizon. But walking back in here just 15 minutes later, what a change. Now I see the covered garden bench, the limbs of the witch hazel tree, the white husks of the shells bordering its garden, the azalea and its entourage. The border of leaves and grass.

By 7:12 it is unqualifiedly morning. What a difference 28 minutes can make.

Time and Memories

I'm reminded this morning that it's been 60 years to the day since President Kennedy was shot. The act that defined our country for many years, until the other tragedies came along. 

Now there are young adults who were born after 9/11, who have no direct or televised experience of the smoldering ruins or the silent skies. 

Time marches on; memories do not. They stay locked in place — in amber, perhaps, or something far less valuable. They define us, as a generation and as a people. 

How do we honor them and move on? Only by understanding them, I guess, by realizing the many ways they hold us in their thrall. 

Palimpsest

Rain dislodges leaves and sends them dripping and dropping into the backyard, which is already covered with them. Nothing like the old days, when we would wade through them ankle deep, but still a presence, a reminder of the season. 

When I look at the leaves from my upstairs window, I see a palimpsest, a manuscript that tells two stories, the lines on top and the faint scratches beneath: a new story and an older one. I see the yard as it is now, but I also see the yard of yore, little girls jumping into piles of brown and gold. 

Those little girls are grown. Now their children come to jump in the leaves, to bounce on the trampoline, to run and dance and play. But when I look at the yard I don't just see the newest little people, I see the ones that are no more, the young women who are once again the children I knew them to be.

Stan's Side

For the last few days I've been getting to know an old friend, Standard — Stan for short.

I haven't seen him since March, but here he is again, and up to his usual tricks: early mornings, early evenings, a sense that darkness is winning. In a way, it's not his fault. He arrives on the scene just as the light is fading, and departs when it's coming into its own. He's left holding the bag.

Some people want to banish him forever. Others think we should get rid of his flashy cousin. Until we do one or the other, Stan will be the sober fellow who says "you really should go home now, it's getting dark" or "early to bed and early to rise." 

If you happen to catch him in the morning, though ... it's a different story. Trust me, I know.  

(Two sunrise photos in a row? Stan made me do it.)

Endless Summer

There was a freeze warning last night, and the furnace is humming as I type these words. Time to remember warmer weather. 

I'm thinking of a beach: salt air, gentle surf, an inquisitive egret strolling through the waves, eyeing the bait bucket as he passes a fisherman on the shore.

I'm remembering the way my body feels in the sun, loose and warm and grateful to be alive.

I'm reliving walks under palm trees, fronds clicking in the breeze and the air heavy and full.

As the season turns, the mind can mutiny, can claim for itself an endless summer. 

Backward Glance

I know people who extol the beauties of fall — the color, the crispness, the end of humidity — but I'm not one of them. To me there's always a backward glance at this time of year.

I don't mind the heat, I relish cicada song, and I love the long days that summer brings.

So on the last day of this summer, I'm reveling in the sun that's trying to peak through the ever-thickening cloud cover, and I'm savoring the adventures — from Seattle to Scotland and all the places in between.

Night and Day

Last night, after the kiddos were rounded up and their weary parents pulled away from the house, heading home, I noted the miracle that's so easy to ignore this time of year, the great gift of evening daylight. 

Family activities postponed my morning walk, but there was still (barely) enough light to take a late stroll. It had been awhile since I took this walk on the downwind side of the day, and I couldn't help but notice how different it was. 

Yellow lamplight glowed through windows. Late birds rustled in the trees. Sprinklers made that tst, tst, tst sound. I was the only walker on the road. Houses and lawns that look ordinary at 8:30 a.m. look positively fetching 12 hours later. 

With walking, as with so much else, timing is key.

Singing Chicken

For years I stored my oldest journals in metal boxes tucked away on the highest shelf of my closet. I had to stand on a step ladder and move so much stuff out of the way to reach them that it was as if they didn't exist. But now they're placed spine-side-up in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet next to my desk, so they are ripe for exploration.

Before my discovery of Moleskine notebooks I gathered my thoughts in a hodgepodge of blank books bound in everything from leather to corduroy. The journals are a motley crew, but they served the purpose, which was connecting the dots, remembering, as Joan Didion wrote, "how it felt to be me." 

Sometimes I dip into them for a fact: When exactly did I leave for that trip to Yugoslavia? How long did I work for the lovable but crazy family on West 94th Street? But I always read more than I intended. 

The other day, I discovered an encounter I had with a singing chicken. The "chicken" had been hired to serenade a friend and colleague on her birthday. My job was to meet the chicken and escort him to my friend's desk. In his other life, the actor who took on this second job was playing Theseus in a production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream." Or at least that's what he told us.

You can't make this stuff up. But, if you're lucky, sometimes you write it down. 

Time for Talking

Thinking about time this morning, about the way it gets parceled out, about its being, in the end, the only true currency. Since time passes more quickly as we age, that should mean our wallets are slimmer, too. 

Yet mine can feel so full! Not everyday, of course, but on days I spend with dear family and friends. Maybe it's because a good talk puts me in the eternal present, when time-passed and time-yet-to-come slip away and all that matters is the time-that-is, the words and the moment. 

Which means that having as many good talks as possible is a worthy goal. Making (yes!) time for them, enjoying them, and afterwords, savoring their insights and their joy.