Wisdom from the Verse

As we continue through our second Lenten season of the Covid Era, I notice that today's reading is the story of Abraham taking his son Isaac to the mountaintop to slaughter him. It's never an easy Bible verse for me — or any parent — to hear. The amount of faith and obedience required is way beyond what I or, I hazard a guess, most of us, might have. 

But the story does come at a good time. With most of a penitential season still ahead of us, we could use a reminder of the power of faith to, if not move mountains, then come pretty close. Because, of course, Abraham is richly rewarded for his obedience. He is told that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars. 

Lent on top of Covid seems redundant. We are already giving up so much! I've struggled this year, as I did last, for a way to make the season meaningful. One of them is to keep up with the daily readings, to seek wisdom from the verses. This doesn't always work ... but sometimes it does.

"With Room"

This morning while carrying a mug of hot tea from the first floor to the second floor of the house, I thought about the coffee shop lingo I only learned last year,  that of ordering a tea to go "with room" — meaning to leave a little space at the top for the milk.

I remember what a revelation this was when I first heard it, a practical shorthand for communicating that I didn't want scalding water up to the very brim of the paper cup.

Today, of course, I was not in a coffee shop but in my own house, but I have learned the hard way that when the cup is full the carpet bears the brunt of it. So "leaving room" is now a mantra both at home and away. 

It's not one that comes easily to me, however. I'm an up-to-the-brim kind of person, and restraining myself enough to leave room is an act of restraint I'm not always willing to make. 

The little bit of wisdom that flew down on me when I glanced at my not-quite-full-cup this morning was that it's an easier way to live and is perhaps worth a more-than-occasional try. Living "with room" means not packing every day quite as full, leaving minutes at the beginning and end to think, ponder or meditate. Living "with room" takes some of the edge off he day.

(My brother is an excellent packer, but even he left room in this well-stocked box of gifts.)

Sixty-Four!

The spring weather that was promised yesterday more than materialized. It reached 64, way above the 59 that was originally predicted and warm enough to take my laptop out to the deck and work there for a few hours.  

What a boost to soak up the rays of the still-faint late-winter sun, to hear the wind chimes clang in the unaccustomedly warm breeze.  It was just a taste of what's to come, but it broke a deadlock of sorts.  

Winter has less of a hold on us now. We may still have cold rain, chill wind, freezing temperatures. But the witch hazel tree, responding to yesterday's prompts, has burst into bloom.  It's the earliest harbinger of spring in our yard, and I'm glad for its vivid evidence that yesterday was not a dream. 

(The witch hazel tree photographed in an earlier, snowier winter)

Fifty-Nine!

The weather folks tell me that today's high will be 59. Fifty-nine! I stare at my phone, at the sun icons and the numbers below them, which tell me that at 3 p.m. and 4 p.m. it will be 59. I figure if I look long enough those numbers might turn from 59 to 60. 

Sixty would be nice. It's not much more than 60 inside right now (the nighttime temps still prevailing). Sixty would feel balmy and Florida-like to me, stuck mostly inside at the tail end of what's beginning to feel like a very long winter.

Fifty-nine, on the other hand, still has a chapped, windswept feel. 

Before finishing this post, I walk out through the garage to pick up the newspaper at the end of the driveway. It feels pretty darn warm already. I can feel the difference in my bones. There's a skip in my step as I walk back in the house.

I try the phone one more time. It now tells me that at 4 p.m. it will be 61! That's more like it. 

Steeped

Making tea this morning, I ponder the word steeped, its meaning and its sound, how the double vowel elongates the word, how saying it out loud mimics its effect. "S-t-e-e-p" — as in a hard climb or a long soak. 

What a lovely word, steeped. It speaks of richness and tang and satisfaction. It speaks of judgment. Coffee is brewed, tea is steeped. There’s a world of difference in these processes. In one it’s clear and proscribed; in the other, it’s open-ended and subject to taste. With steeping, time is part of the equation.

This morning, I feel steeped in place, which does not mean I'm gazing at a fetching vista but that I feel totally saturated with the place I am. It's not a bad place, not at all. In fact, it's a wonderful place, this house, so full of love and memories.

But it is, after all, only one place. And there are so many other places out there. 

 

The Soundtrack

With slower walks closer to home, the soundtrack of the stroll grows in importance. Because as much as I would like to say that I walk in silence, the better to hear the faint voice of inspiration, I usually do not. In fact, the music often is the inspiration. At the very least, it's the pace-setter.

Sometimes it's Bach or Brahms or Dvorak coursing through my brain, and my cadence flows from the tempo of the movement, speedy during the prestos, slower for the adagios.  Other times, I play jazz or folk or show tunes; the latter have a lightheartedness especially appreciated these days. The soundtrack can be seasonal, too: Irish tunes are prepped and ready for next month. 

Music is a mood enhancer, amplifying good thoughts, soothing anxious ones. Often I come back in the house from an amble and keep the buds in my ears, finishing a movement or a song, prolonging the escape just a little longer. The soundtrack of the walk throws long shadows on the rest of the day.  

Getting Out

It's Saturday, time to get some food into the house. Apart from walks around the neighborhood, the last time I jumped in the car and drove away was ... two weeks ago. 

Even for Pandemic Speed this is glacial. No wonder I've been pacing the floors on Fort Lee Street. I thought it was to stretch my legs during long work sessions. But no! I think it's been to re-enact a more primary urge: to leave, to step out, to move from one place to another.

While some people have been hunkering down like this for months, I've still been going out to the grocery store and on a few other errands most weeks. And I can say that while from a germ standpoint this practice may be debatable, from a mental health standpoint it is not. 

Getting out is good for you. Which is why I plan to do it ... soon.

(Sorry to say I will not be seeing this on my drive to the supermarket.) 

Bedtime Stories

The voice is melodious, measured, often accented. The intoned words are taking me out of myself, out of the self that tosses and turns when it awakens at 3:30 or 4:20 a.m.  They are shifting my thoughts, turning them toward the drama of others. They are reminding me that the world is large. 

In my arsenal of sleep-inducing weapons I have a new favorite: Audible. I had tried using the recorded books program to this purpose more than a year ago, when I first discovered it, but I had not yet figured out the "Sleep" feature, which allows you to set a timer for anywhere from five minutes to 120. On that occasion, I lost about 30 minutes of the book and had quite a time finding my way back to the place where I lost consciousness

But now, I can set the timer to 10 minutes, certain that, even if I do fall asleep before it runs out, I will easily find my way back. No light to flip on, no pages to fumble through. The darkness of the bedroom preserved. I can plug in, listen to, and drift off as someone reads me ... a bedtime story. 

Sleet!

The fluffy white stuff we were (sort of) promised yesterday has turned out to be a bunch of crunchy ice crystals instead. It's a sleet storm, not a snow storm, that's greeting Fairfax County this morning. 

So what to do? You can't sled on it, can't walk through it, can't drive in it, can't even admire it as it falls. 

To put on my optimistic hat (oh my, it's getting a lot of wear these days, since I only pull it out when natural optimism fails to respond), we are not getting freezing rain, which is what pelted us all day Saturday. Sleet does not coat tree limbs and bring them down. 

Let's praise sleet then not for what it does ... but for what it fails to do. 

(A photo of what we don't have this morning.)

Ash-Free

It's an ash-free Ash Wednesday here. Instead of spiritual reading, I've been trying to change a password and perform various other online acrobatics with all the attendant trials of patience that requires. 

Perhaps there is such a thing as a prayer for online patience. There are indeed prayers for calmness in the storm and for patience in times of confusion. I don't see exactly what I'm looking for, though, something like this:

Oh Lord, I know that in the vastness of your creation there are answers to the technological problems that beset me. Fill me with calmness and understanding as I yet again attempt to _____(change my password/check on my order/request information/insert need here). I know that these bits and bytes are but a small part of the marvelous world we inhabit. Help me to put them in perspective as I live a full and meaningful life in the real world. Amen.

Misty Morning

With all the snow, sleet and freezing rain we've had recently, it was a relief this morning to wake up and find ... fog! And not a pea soup variety but a gentle, mysterious, romantic kind of fog that softens the landscape and turns the trees into ghostly sentinels.

Here is a form of water molecule that we can handle, one that doesn't need to be shoveled or sprinkled with melting crystals. 

Given the Arctic cold assaulting the midsection of the country, we're lucky today to have what we have: not hard sub-zero temps but puddles of melted ice draped with mist and brume.

Floating

It's President's Day, a celebration conflation closer this year to Lincoln's day (February 12) than to Washington's (February 22). 

Up until last year it was a holiday on my work calendar. This year it has been nixed to give us one floating holiday, which we can use to celebrate a birthday, religious observance or whatever we want. 

I decided to take my floating holiday today, since I'd already been planning on it and since it is, for me, more of a "Beat the Winter Doldrums Day" than anything else. 

With one ice storm melting away and another gearing up for later in the week, I plan to hunker down, to read, write and organize (not too much of the latter, I bet). In other words... to float.

Seven Degrees

If there are seven degrees of separation, then are there not seven degrees of isolation? I'm thinking about the world as we know it: working remotely, separated from friends, too cold for outside get-togethers ... and now further set apart by rain, snow, sleet and an anticipated ice storm.

I suppose it's easier in one sense. We now have multiple reasons for staying at home. But that doesn't warm the heart when the heart is accustomed to the stimulation and richness of a life fully lived.

What is called for, I suppose, is seven degrees of patience: hoping, praying, reading, writing, baking, cleaning — and of course, dancing. You can't forget about that last one. It's the most important of all. 

Walk Once Taken

Behind our street is an alternative universe of five-acre lots. There are barns and horses and houses with names. When the girls were young I would walk them to school through that neighborhood. 

We just had to slip through the backyard across the street to access one of the trails, stay close to the fence line for a few hundred feet and then reach the road, which was only paved a few years ago.

But the neighbors whose backyard offered access have moved away. And the house closest to us in that neighborhood has just been torn down. Construction trucks come and go, and you can see through the sparse winter tree coverage how large the new house will be. 

It will be difficult for me to walk that way again, though I doubt I will stop trying. 

All That Glitters

Walks have been slower lately, both to baby an aching foot and stay clear of icy patches on the street. I miss the faster pace. I see more of the landscape this way, true, but the landscape of late winter is not always one on which you want to linger. 

Odd remnants of leftover snow, garbage cans seemingly abandoned by the side of the road, piles of pruned and discarded azalea branches. I'm reminded of late winter in Chicago, when the snow would melt and my enthusiasm for warmer weather would be tempered by seeing what had been hiding beneath the white stuff for weeks.

The suburban landscape is more forgiving, though, the ratio of green to gray easier on the eye, and there have been times lately when the salt crystals on the road gleam like so many rough diamonds. At my slower pace I can see them sparkle. 

The Visited Place

In his book Horizon, the late Barry Lopez talks about his fascination with the life of the British explorer Captain James Cook. Though Lopez admits that Cook's adventures did not always bode well for indigenous people (and it was indigenous people who took Cook's life, in Hawaii, in 1779), Lopez does not demonize the man.  Cook explored the east coast of Australia, continental Antarctica and Hawaii, all the while, Lopez believes, remaining "quietly but profoundly conflicted about the consequences of his work." 

He tells us that Cook's nautical charts were so detailed that his work allowed humans "to picture the entire planet, the whole of it at once, a sense of open space that, in the centuries of Western exploration before him, had eluded us. After Cook, the old cartographer's admissions of ignorance, 'Here Be Dragons,' disappeared from the perimeter of world maps."

The best way to appreciate the places Cook visited was to visit them himself, Lopez says. In fact, the best way to take in any place is not with photographs or written descriptions, but by being in the place itself. Lopez was in a better position than most to make that happen.  

"Each place on Earth goes deep. Some vestige of the old, now seemingly eclipsed place is always there to be had. The immensity of the mutable sea before me at Cape Foulweather, the faint barking of the sea lions in the air, the nearly impenetrable (surviving) groves of stout Sitka spruce behind me, the moss-bound creeks, the flocks of mew gulls circling schools of anchovies just offshore, the pummeling winds and crashing surf of late-winter storms—it's all still there."

(A map of Cook's three voyages, courtesy Wikipedia)

The Perch

A glimpse of winter sky through a tangle of arching branches might first bring thoughts of winter's starkness and simplicity. 

But a closer look reveals that these limbs are full of life. Soon, the sap will start to flow up from the ground through the trunk and into the twigs, where it will nourish the new leaves once they bud. 

Even in the dormant season, though, the branches offer rest and recharging, a perch. I've been watching the black gum tree, observing how birds alight on its limbs while awaiting their turn at the feeder or suet block. 

They are mostly patient, these birds. They will sit still as statues until there's an opening, then they will swoop in and gobble up the seed or suet. 

I snapped a photo of two birds this morning. They are barely discernible amid the long black fingers of the gum tree. But they are there, biding their time. 

Balls in the Air

After writing yesterday's post I started thinking about how, if 2010's Snowmageddon offered a few days off to clean a closet or start a blog, just think what 2020's (and now 2021's) lockdowns might produce. What novels and screenplays and landscapes and enchanted gardens will grow, have grown, from this enforced solitude?

A prodigious creative output for some, I'm sure ... but not from me!  I can barely keep up with my paying work, the blog and the rest of my life. 

A 10-day snow storm does not equal an almost yearlong pandemic.  It lacks the fear and confusion; it lacks the duration. So while I have more time now to put words on paper, I'm keeping many of those words inside, hoping for time soon to process what we've been enduring. 

For now, I'm just trying to keep the balls I was already juggling in the air.  Maybe I'm alone in this — but I bet I'm not! 

(Starting my 12th year of blogging by adding a GIF. Will it work? It seems to on my end!)

Eleven Years

Eleven years ago today, on another snowy Super Bowl Sunday, I started this blog. It was something I'd been meaning to do for years, but the windfall of time made possible by a weather disruption gave me the space I needed to make the resolution come true. 

I still remember sitting on the couch, setting up the blog account, finding it easier than I thought. I had the title in mind, and a rough idea of what I wanted to say (though it would take months to learn how to size the photos), but it came together with the ease of something that was meant to be.  It seemed to me then, and on good days still seems to be ... magic. 

Magic occurs when ideas have the room and reception to put down roots and grow. "Ideas are driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest," writes the author and memoirist Elizabeth Gilbert. "And the only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner." 

For eleven years, I've partnered with the idea of A Walker in the Suburbs, writing about walking and place and books and family life. I'm glad it came to visit me, this idea. But most of all, I'm grateful I chose to welcome it. 

Questions without Answers

It's easy to forget when caught up in adult life how simple and powerful are the needs of little people. Our almost six-month-old grandson has been in our care several times now and re-entering his world is highly instructive for mine. 

For one thing, I always have questions. Chief among them are ones about his physical needs: is he hungry? is he sleepy? But a close second are questions about his psychological needs: does he feel safe? is he being stimulated? 

Some of these are questions without answers, but it's important to ask them. For babies ... and for grownups, too.

Leaving a Trace

I noticed them the minute I stepped out of the house on Sunday. There was no evidence of humans making their way through the newly fallen snow — but a world of animal tracks greeted me on that still morning.

Tiny bird footprints, the skittering marks of a squirrel or chipmunk, and the more dog-like paw prints of our local fox. Whether hopping, scampering or loping, these animals left their marks.

We think of snow as a covering, coating the verges and leaf piles, making smooth the weed-strewn and the bald-patched.

But snow reveals as well as conceals. It tells us who was here and, if we pay attention, how recently. It's a blank white slate on which movements make their mark. 

Walker Meets Ice

These days, walks are timed for optimal warmth and light. They must also flow around work projects and meetings, which is how I found myself looking for strips of pavement amid the icy patches on our street yesterday about 3 p.m. 

The snow had finally stopped, which wasn't altogether welcome — it was fun living inside a snow globe for a few days — and a stiff breeze was drying off the wet parts of the road. The problem was that it was freezing the slush almost as quickly. 

I'm a fearless walker ... until ice enters the picture. I have a healthy respect for it and will be glad when it melts away. Until then, I will make my way through the landscape very slowly ... if at all! 

(Above: where ice should stay, in my humble opinion!) 

Snowscape

The snowy Sunday quietly and steadily remained a snowy Monday, and has now — wonder of wonders! — become a snowy Tuesday. 

As I write, the flurries that made it difficult to keep a path clean for Copper down the deck stairs (he's old and slips a lot) have continued flying. The railing I scraped off yesterday has at least another inch or two of white coating. 

Best of all, the winter wonderland brought to us by 28 degrees and enough cold aloft to produce these flakes still falling remains a vision, a snowscape, a sight for sore eyes. 

Snowy Sunday

It's not just that the snow fell, finally, the first significant accumulation in two years, but that it fell on Sunday, when many of us could enjoy it. Into the snow went dogs and babies (two of the latter for the first time!). Out of it (and the time if provided) came photos; chicken and wild rice soup; and chocolate chip muffin bread.

Mostly what came of it was total relaxation. There wasn't much I could do outside. And although there was much I could have done inside, the snow gave me permission to ignore it. 

I read in the morning, watched television while eating lunch, and as the soup simmered and the bread baked, I sat in the darkening living room looking at the white world outside.