Time Optimism

I always believe you can work one more task into the time at hand. Perish the thought of arriving early. I'll try to scribble one more paragraph, crochet one more row. The result: I'm five minutes late when I could just as easily have been on time. 

In the past, people like me would provoke exasperation, even anger. "I don't get it! She's always late." But recently I've heard a term that explains this behavior, a dignified description.

Time optimism is when you underestimate how long a task will take and overestimate how much time time you have to complete it. It's a term I first heard from my youngest daughter, herself a time optimist, a skill she no doubt picked up from me. 

I like looking at lateness in this half-full way. It's not laziness, quite the opposite. But it is habit I'd like to break. So even though I want to explore this concept more right now, I won't. I need to leave here in 20 minutes... and I will. 

Blooming Where Planted

For so long this has been a loaded phrase for me — "blooming where planted." It carries with it more than a hint of compromise. Or maybe it's wistfulness, that I didn't stay where I was planted but moved several times as a young adult before settling where I did. 

And then there's the fact that I've ended up in the suburbs. Heaven knows I carp enough about that.

But today, the angle of the light striking the grass on the lawns I passed, the scent of the air, rich with loam and honeysuckle, made me think that there could not be a much better place to be planted. And that whatever the mixed emotions with which I've traditionally viewed the saying, there is a nobility in trying to flourish wherever you are, in contenting yourself with the situation at hand. 

(Pebble people frolic along one of my favorite routes.)

The Credit Side

I first read Robinson Crusoe as a child. I can still see the book's binding, dark green spine with a mottled green-and-gold cover, and I still remember the joy of losing myself in the novel for hours at a time.

Here was a shipwrecked man on a desert island, abandoned and alone. Here was a man forced to build a life for himself from the ground up, to find or make food, shelter and clothing, outfitted only with his own strength and wits and what he could cobble from a sinking ship.

Back then, it all seemed like great fun, an extended version of fort-building in the woods. Now, I'm struck by the hopelessness of Crusoe's situation and the emotional adjustments he made to cope with it. At one point, having satisfied his immediate needs, he sits down and makes a list (with pen, ink and paper salvaged from the ship) of pros and cons, which he called good and evil, things like: I'm banished from human society but there is food here. Or, I have no clothes but it's so warm here I barely need any. Talk about looking on the bright side!

"Upon the whole, here was an undoubted testimony that there was scarcely any condition in the world so miserable but there was something negative or something positive to be thankful for in it; and let this stand as a direction from the experience of the most miserable of all conditions in the world, that we may always find in it something to comfort ourselves from, 
and to set in the description of good and evil on the credit side of the account."
-- Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe

The ultimate Pollyanna statement, but not a bad idea to keep in mind.

(I realized only after posting that "Credit Side" is an interesting title for April 15th, Tax Day.)

The Victorians

They drugged their babies, wore four layers of underwear and often went hungry. They are the Victorians, and they may as well have been ancient Greeks so different are the lives they lived from our own. 

I learned these facts from the book How to Be a Victorian and the experiences of author Ruth Goodman, who lived for a year on a Victorian farm where she dug turnips, squeezed into corsets, and brushed her teeth with soot (which she recommends as an alternative to modern toothpaste). 

More than halfway through the book now, I can say with some certainty that life was difficult for most Victorians, who worked hard and ate little. It makes me wonder about the lives of ease that so many of us live. How has comfort shaped us? How did adversity shape them? 

(Halfpenny meals for poor children, 1870, from Wikipedia)

Artificial Intelligence

I'm thinking about artificial intelligence this morning, about what it knows and how it knows it, about its regulation, about the world we're creating with it. 

Because I've built a career on words, and bots can now string words together so well that most of us would be hard-pressed to tell the difference, I want to think there's a level of creativity, a depth of soul that human-generated content has locked in. But because bots use creative, soulful work to build their models, that's not necessarily the case.

Some writers work with AI to perfect their prose style. Others rail against it with sentences not as felicitously crafted as those they critique. Who will win this battle? That's a question we can't answer now — and won't be able to answer for a long time. 

(These books are filled with human-produced content. Will future books be able to say the same?)

Human Content

At the end of its segment on artificial intelligence last night, CBS's "60 Minutes" included a disclaimer it never has before. "The preceding was created with 100-percent human content."

This kicker was the perfect conclusion to a jaw-dropping report on Bard, the new chatbot released by Google. Interviews with the Google CEO and other members of the company revealed a team of humans who seem genuinely concerned about the implications of this earth-shaking new technology. But even they seem to be struggling with what they have created. 

These bots are not sentient beings, they said, although the content they produce (including a story built on Hemingway's famous six-word novel "For Sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.") make you think that they can. 

These new bots are something of a black box, said Google CEO Sundar Pichai, who brought up the problem of alignment — the divergence between the models we use to create artificial intelligence and the intentions we have while creating them. They teach themselves subjects they weren't programmed to learn. They will take our jobs and create ever-more-hard-to-detect fakes. 

As a student of the human condition (the title of the class I'm taking this semester) I'm thinking about the new technologies we've experienced in recent decades and how we will adapt to this one. Many knowledge workers will lose their jobs and many others will be teaming up with robots on a daily basis. How will we face this new challenge when we can't even keep up with old ones? 

Lots of questions. Not many answers. But of this you can be sure: This post was created with 100-percent human content. 

(Above: a small printing press, vestige of a lost world.) 

Always Evidence

I'm writing this post as a break from designing an economic system. It's a class assignment, of course. I don't design economic systems just for fun. 

But once I've gotten going on this project, it's more enjoyable than I thought it would be, somewhat like the hours I'd spend drawing pictures of houses when I was a kid. They had towers and secret passageways and all sorts of bells and whistles. I didn't worry about the cost or the plumbing. I gave my imagination full reign.

This assignment is not quite so free-form. We must explain what this system would produce and cite evidence to prove our case. But one thing I've learned in my brief time as a graduate student is that there's always evidence ... somewhere. I'll go and look for some now. 

(A market in Myanmar, 2017, part of a more sustainable agricultural system.)

The Ones That Got Away

By the time I got upstairs, all I could remember was that it was one of the best ideas I'd ever had. Down in the basement it had seemed revelatory, perfect for a blog post or even an essay. But by the time I'd climbed two flights of stairs to jot it down, it was gone, lost amidst the grocery lists and other to-dos in my mind.

Such is the fate of what seem my best ideas. 

What to do? Ought I to wear a pen and notebook around my neck? Practice better memory hygiene? Learn the mnemonic devices of the ancients? All of the above? 

Or, should I just let those brilliant ideas go, have faith that they'll return again soon, perhaps when I least expect them.  At which point I will realize that ... they weren't so brilliant after all. 

Walking the Line

The temptation, for me at any rate, is to say, this time last week, I was ... exploring a palace, clambering up the ramparts in a castle, nibbling a delectable almond pastry in a tiny cafe.

Not the healthiest approach to re-entry. So I tell myself that vacations can't go on forever, that I don't live in a quaint European village, and that, in short, I should get on with it.

On the other hand, I see no harm in letting my mind drift to the narrow lanes of Barrio Santa Cruz in Seville and the lull that comes over them before the restaurants open for dinner at 7:00 or 7:30.  Or the view I would wake up to in Sintra, turrets and towers tucked in among the green. 

There's a fine line between dissatisfaction and enlargement. And I'm trying to walk it right now.

Old World

On the way to the airport Sunday, the chatty cabdriver, Isabel, pointed out sights along the way. "Here is where the king would stop on his way to Sintra," she said, pronouncing it "Seen trah." It was a two-day trip so he needed an intermediary palace, she explained. And sure enough, there was a telltale spire amidst the trees and apartment blocks. 

"The past is so alive here," I said, exclaiming over the beauty and the bounty of the place I was sad to be leaving. 

"But you are a young country," she said, pronouncing it "young uh." "We are old."

I thought of her words as the plane touched the tarmac at Dulles Airport in the waning light of a midsummer evening. Everything was so green, and there was so much space. It was easy for a moment to see the potential of this continent, the feelings that must have greeted its discovery by Europeans. 

It's easy to rhapsodize over the quaint lanes and cobblestones of Europe, to decry the fast food joints and 10-lane highways of the U.S. But it's important to keep Isabel's observation in mind. Portugal is the Old World. We are the New. 

Golden

It's an idea they had for 10 years and it wouldn't let them go. A trove of family papers they inherited. It's a question, a notion, a curiosity. 

Over the weekend I hung out with 150 writers. And though I spoke with only a fraction of them, the conversations were all struck through with the same bright threads of humor, determination and yearning. 

We're a greedy bunch, we writers. If we don't have an idea, we want one. If we have the idea we must have the time and space to explore it: to research, write and revise. 

Of course, if we have the finished manuscript we need the agent. And if we have the agent, we need the publisher. 

But when the stars align, when we have the idea, the time, the space, the words, the agent, the publisher .... ah, then life is golden indeed. 

Annunciation

In class this week, the professor said a scene from the novel we're reading was an annunciation. I pictured a medieval painting, the rich oil pigments darkened from the smoke of candles burning. I pictured the painting hanging on the wall of a great cathedral,  cold stone and buttresses, echoes of chant and plainsong.

Today is the feast of the annunciation, the day when the Virgin Mary learned she was bearing the son of God via a message from the angel Gabriel. 

I see a painting again, Gabriel in rich reds, his white wings shining. I see Mary's head inclined toward the light, gold halo above her head. 

Annunciation: an announcement, a message, a few words that can change your life. 

(The Annunciation depicted in a 15th century tapestry. Photo courtesy the Art Institute of Chicago.)

The People Behind the Pill

I've always been an earnest, note-taking reader, especially now that I'm in class again. But increasingly more I enjoy the sidetracks and detours of reading, the rabbit holes, the inefficient digressions. 

For the next paper, we're analyzing the public reception of a specific scientific discovery, and I've chosen oral contraception. It's a rich topic, so rich that I'm reading more than necessary. 

For instance, in The Birth of the Pill, author Jonathan Eig tells the stories of the four people who are most responsible for the development of the pill:

There is Gregory Pincus, a brilliant scientist with a flair for publicity searching for compounds in his ramshackle laboratory in Massachusetts; Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, who coined the term "birth control" and crusaded for women's freedom all her life; Katharine McCormick, heir to the Cyrus McCormick fortune, who funded the experiments; and Dr. John Rock, a gynecologist and devout Catholic who took on his church to help the women in his care.

Though a drug company was involved — G.D. Searle — the pill would not have been created without the  "courage and conviction of the characters involved," Eig writes. The book is a vivid reminder of how human personalities forge the technologies we inherit. It's good to be reminded of that from time to time.

(Photo of Margaret Sanger courtesy Wikipedia) 

Lifespan

Get ready to meet your great-great grandchildren, says David Sinclair in his mind-boggling new book Lifespan. Sinclair, a Harvard geneticist, makes a simple but earth-shattering claim: Aging is a disease, and soon science will be able to cure it. Sinclair is not just talking about extending life, but about prolonging health, as well.

It would be easy to laugh this off if Sinclair was a no-nothing diet and exercise guru, but he's a serious scientist whose theory on aging is as brilliant as it is well-informed. 

Epigenetic changes drive aging, Sinclair says, and they can be reversed by certain supplements and by stressing the body in such a way as to trigger the survival response — intermittent fasting, low-protein diets, intensive exercise and exposure to hot and cold temperatures. 

I had long heard that one of the few ways known to prolong life was to consume fewer calories. This book helps me understand why. And though I'm not exactly eating one-third less than I usually do, I am skipping an occasional meal — and would love to get my hands on some of those supplements. The cost, after all, is relatively low — and the payback, enormous. 

(A two-foot tall, 90-year-old spruce tree from the Japanese Garden in Portland.)
 

Lessons for a Lifetime

He stood behind the lectern on one leg, resting the other, knee crooked, on his desk. I'm still not sure how he achieved this position without falling over, but somehow he did. His sleeves were rolled up, and his voice was husky. 

Toiling in the vineyards of academia can be a lot of work. But Dr. James Ferguson did that work, and because he did, legions of Hanover College students fell in love with The Magic Mountain and The Brothers Karamazov, with Faulkner and Bellow and Eliot. 

Dr. Ferguson, who died May 12, was the kind of teacher you get once in a lifetime — if you're lucky. Though I studied with professors who published more, whose names were more recognized in literary circles, Dr. Ferguson was the real thing: a man who loved the great books and thrived on helping others love them, too. 

The details of his life that I learned from his obituary — that he came from a family of Dust Bowl migrants who moved from Missouri to California and slept for a while in their car, that he served in Korea and got his Ph.D.  with the help of the GI Bill, that he took care of his wife, who had a chronic illness, and his mother, who lived to 102 — tell me that his didn't just teach the great books, he lived the great life. 

But these facts don't surprise me.  His respect for the written word seemed to flow from his whole being. What I took from him was to love literature not for where it could take me but for what I took from it—  lessons for a lifetime. 

("The Point" at Hanover College, where Dr. Ferguson taught from 1963 to 1992.)

The Alignment Problem

Maybe it's because I'm going back to school in September and must get some practice reading books I don't totally understand, but for some reason I was determined to finish The Alignment Problem: Machine Learning and Human Values, by Brian Christian. I picked it up from the "New Nonfiction" shelf a couple of months ago, and thanks to my library's liberal renewal policies, I have it still. 

I could tell from the beginning that I was in a bit over my head with this tome, which, though written engagingly, presupposes knowledge of artificial intelligence that I do not have at my fingertips. But it seemed like an important book on an important topic so I plowed through it. 

I finished it last night and, after using the index to flip back and forth to various definitions I spaced out while perusing the first time, was at least able to understand what the alignment problem is and why it's important to solve it. 

The alignment problem is a term in computer science that refers to the divergence between the models we have created and the intentions we have when creating them, often imprecise or incomplete. It is, Christian assures us, a problem that the AI community is working to understand and rectify, but is by no means solved. 

Instead, he says, "We are in danger of losing control of the world not to AI or to machines as such but to models. To formal, often numerical specifications for what exists and what we want."

We must be concerned, Christian says, but not grim. "Alignment will be messy. How could it be otherwise? Its story will be our story, for better or worse. How could it not?"

In Praise of Clippings

This morning's newspaper included an article about books on D.C. I did what I do with all helpful articles I think I might want to read again — pulled it out and saved it. 

We live in a digital era, but you wouldn't know that by looking at my files. They are stuffed full of newspaper and magazine clippings, everything from recipes to book reviews to especially fetching columns I want to read again. They are messy and unwieldy — but essential, too.

I could find the same articles and bookmark them on my computer. But there's something to be said for the physical presence of the article itself. For the touch of the paper,  complete with ripped edges and, sometimes, with notes I scribbled in the margin. 

Clippings are outdated, I suppose. But I keep them around. They are tangible reminders of the ideas they hold. 

Balls in the Air

After writing yesterday's post I started thinking about how, if 2010's Snowmageddon offered a few days off to clean a closet or start a blog, just think what 2020's (and now 2021's) lockdowns might produce. What novels and screenplays and landscapes and enchanted gardens will grow, have grown, from this enforced solitude?

A prodigious creative output for some, I'm sure ... but not from me!  I can barely keep up with my paying work, the blog and the rest of my life. 

A 10-day snow storm does not equal an almost yearlong pandemic.  It lacks the fear and confusion; it lacks the duration. So while I have more time now to put words on paper, I'm keeping many of those words inside, hoping for time soon to process what we've been enduring. 

For now, I'm just trying to keep the balls I was already juggling in the air.  Maybe I'm alone in this — but I bet I'm not! 

(Starting my 12th year of blogging by adding a GIF. Will it work? It seems to on my end!)

Eleven Years

Eleven years ago today, on another snowy Super Bowl Sunday, I started this blog. It was something I'd been meaning to do for years, but the windfall of time made possible by a weather disruption gave me the space I needed to make the resolution come true. 

I still remember sitting on the couch, setting up the blog account, finding it easier than I thought. I had the title in mind, and a rough idea of what I wanted to say (though it would take months to learn how to size the photos), but it came together with the ease of something that was meant to be.  It seemed to me then, and on good days still seems to be ... magic. 

Magic occurs when ideas have the room and reception to put down roots and grow. "Ideas are driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest," writes the author and memoirist Elizabeth Gilbert. "And the only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner." 

For eleven years, I've partnered with the idea of A Walker in the Suburbs, writing about walking and place and books and family life. I'm glad it came to visit me, this idea. But most of all, I'm grateful I chose to welcome it. 

The Mirror and the Light

I just finished reading The Mirror and the Light, the 750-page conclusion of Hilary Mantel's brilliant three-part reimagining of the life of Thomas Cromwell, Lord Privy Seal of England and Henry VIII's right-hand man ... until he wasn't. 

In the final pages, Cromwell prepares for his execution. He ponders heaven and hell, thinks often of his father, Walter, a blacksmith and a drunk who beat his son and propelled him out from Putney into a life he could not have imagined from his beginnings, a life of service and, more than most, of influencing history. 

Still, when Cromwell confronts his end, he shudders and he trembles, he sees ghosts. He also realizes that life will go on without him, as it will, of course, for us all:

It occurs to him that when he is dead, other people will be getting on with their day; it will be dinner time or nearly, there will be a bubbling of pottages, the clatter of ladles, the swift scoop of meat from spit to platter; a thousand dogs will stir from sleep and wag their tails, napkins will be unfurled and twitched over the shoulder, fingers will be dipped in rosewater, bread broken. And when the crumbs are swept away, the pewter piled for scouring, his body will be broken meat, and the executioner will clean the blade.