Meteorological Assist

Where I live we have an ally in quarantine, a meteorological assist. Most every day, it rains. And what regulations might not accomplish, weather does.

Yesterday, for instance, we had about six hours of full-on spring sun. Balmy blue skies, no clouds or gloom — and there were lots more people and cars on the road, a sense of everyone bursting from confines.

This morning, though, I awoke to the pitter-patter of rain on the roof. We're expected to have a deluge by noon. The greenery will become even greener.

It will be easy to be inside today. Which is one day closer to being out.

Something's Cooking

As the physical reality of my world shrinks to house and yard, each individual room looms larger. The living room has become my primary work space, the basement an entertainment hub and gym, and the kitchen — ah, the kitchen is getting a workout.

Like many of us stuck at home, I've been eating more — and better — than usual. This is because there's more food in the house and because my typical excuses for not cooking — what a horrible commute! such a day I've had at the office! — are no longer viable.

So when I come downstairs in the morning I'm greeted with distinctive cooking smells — with the tang of last night's curry or the aroma of last week's (reheated) quiche.

It's a more full-bodied, full-aroma'ed house I live in these days. And I have to say ... I like it.

Catkins!

The oak catkins are back, draping and dropping, falling from trees onto car, lawn and deck. They're graceful and gritty, ornery and ornamental. They make my eyes water and my sinuses swell.

These male flowers release pollen to the wind, pollen that finds its way to the female oak flowers to make acorns — and eventually new oak trees. But catkins find many detours from their appointed rounds. They hitch a ride on the soles of shoes, worm their way into houses where they burrow into carpets, slide into corners, and get stuck on the shaggy coats of one old doggie I know.

Years ago, during a catkin-heavy spring, my middle daughter, Claire, decided to start a catkin-removal business. She asked our neighbors if they'd like their driveways swept free of the things, and most of them said yes. Claire did a brisk business. She worked hard for hours, pulling her little wagon up and down the street and loading the catkins there after she'd swept them up.

I'll never forget her trudging home in the late afternoon, full of smiles. She had a few dollars in her pocket, our neighbor's driveways were pristine — and she'd brought all the catkins home ... to our yard.

Still There

Yesterday, I escaped again. This time to walk with another daughter, in an inner rather than an outer suburb —an old neighborhood with houses tucked into hillsides. The iris had popped there, and the dogwood and azaleas have bloomed longer than usual this year, thanks to cooler weather, so they were still in fine array. The flowering trees gave each house and yard the enchantment they deserved.

I've said this often (here and elsewhere), but the Washington, D.C., area is at its most beautiful in spring — and this year spring has lasted months.

This particular walk took us to the bluffs above the Potomac River, where we clambered on rocks and rain-slicked trails, through tunnels of foliage colored an eye-popping green. How lovely to be in that place in that moment. How good to have gotten out not once but twice (both for valid reasons, I feel I must add — for exercise and food drop-offs), to see a little more of the world that's out there. It's a good reminder, six weeks into quarantine, that it will all still be there when we emerge.

The Land of Other

Yesterday I escaped home and yard for a brief sojourn in the Land of Other. The Land of Other is not some mythical place far away. It is simply any place other than my own.

I hadn't been in this land for two weeks, and it felt good to be there. It's not that I mind being home all of the time. Mostly I don't. But as the weeks wear on, and family members remain tantalizingly close, I can't help but visit them.

Interactions were brief and mostly took place outside. There were two long walks, three frisky dogs, a daughter, a brother and — at the end, a box of take-out fried chicken.

Simple pleasures, deeply enjoyed. The Land of Other — it's still out there. And knowing that makes me uncommonly happy.

Four Years

Four years ago today I started what I still think of as my "new" job. I moved from print to digital journalism, from editing a magazine to being a jack-of-all-trades writer/editor penning op-eds, success stories, profiles, advertising copy and whatever else needs to be done.

On the Friday of my first week I wrote a brief history of the organization. Seven months later, I was sent around the world to report and write stories in Indonesia and Myanmar.

Before I started, my new manager told me that working at Winrock was a little like drinking from a fire hose. He was not exaggerating. There's hardly been a dull moment.

Turns out, I'm a little addicted to the fast-paced workplace. I thrive in it, though increasingly it wears me out. But I always do better with too much on my plate than not enough. And right now, of course, I'm grateful to have this work.

One thing I know for sure, and I say this with great fondness: In this job, I'l always have too much on my plate.

(Street scene in Khulna, Bangladesh, just one of the amazing sights I've seen through my "new" job.)

Open Pavement

Last week I ran an errand that involved driving home via the commuting route I used to take B.C. (Before Covid). I came down Nutley, turned left on Old Courthouse then left again on Route 123 before taking a right on Hunter Mill then the rest of the way home.

There were almost no cars on the road, as you might expect, and as eerie as it was, the commuting self in me (homo commutus?) rejoiced. Here, finally, was something we all crave around here, something rare and precious — open pavement.

As these weeks of quarantine give way to something more ominous — weeks (months?) of uncertain re-openings, re-closings and second-guessings, I think back on those empty roads I saw last week. They were broad, they were empty, they were beautiful. But as we all know ... they can't last.

(An almost-empty road in Colorado. It's harder to find pictures of empty roads around here.)

Contented with Containment

The more I read of Niall Williams's This is Happiness (more about this wonderful book in a later post), the more I realize that, although I grew up in Lexington, Kentucky, I also grew up in an Irish storytelling culture. Although on the surface my dad seemed to be the chief yarn-spinner, Mom was no slouch in the storytelling department, and her mother, my nana, could tell tall tales with the best of them.

One of Mom's stories, which may have come in part from her mother — or at least happened when Mom was a little girl — involved a man whose name was Mangione, I think, or maybe Mahoney. This man lived on High or Maxwell or one of the tree-lined streets around the University of Kentucky.  And one fine day he went into his house, climbed up into an attic room, and — Mom always said this part dramatically — never came out again.

As a child I was always fascinated with the mechanics of this arrangement. Was there a bathroom up there? Did he receive his food on a tray? As an adult I realize that this man must have have had agoraphobia or some other anxiety that kept him from leaving the house. But whatever the reason, I've often thought of his as a cautionary tale, what happens to people who don't get out enough — they simply stop wanting to leave.

Is our sheltering-in-place creating an epidemic of agoraphobia, a generation of hermits? Will the quarantines be relaxed, the doors thrown open, and people just yawn and say, that's fine, but I'll stay inside, thank you very much.

I feel it in myself, this lessening of desire to be out and about in the world, this contentment with containment. I wonder if others feel the same way.

Earth Day at 50

If Earth Day was a person, it would need reading glasses by now. The holiday that once seemed the epitome of peace, love and kumbaya may look a little dated in these decidedly less than peace, love and kumbaya times. But although reduced travel and worldwide lockdowns are giving us a tiny reprieve from global warming, Earth Day is still more important than ever before.

Last night I watched a documentary about Norman Borlaug, a Nobel prize winning scientist who is credited with saving up to a billion lives by launching the Green Revolution. The film described his laser-like focus to solve the problem of world hunger — and the selfless way he went about it (for instance, he never patented one of his new hybrids).

But the documentary also pointed out the legacy of the hybrid wheat Borlaug created, the water and fertilizer it requires to grow, the damage it has done to our environment and to social structures as displaced farmers flocked to cities, swelling their populations to the breaking point.

The film made clear that the seeds of one generation's problems are planted in the solutions of the previous generation. We all do the best we can with the time we have.

What will we do, now? That's the question Earth Day asks of us.

Elevated Apes

“It is the same shabby-genteel sentiment, the same vanity of birth which makes men prefer to believe that they are degenerated angels, rather than elevated apes.”  — William Winwood Reade

I thought of this quotation while on a recent walk with Copper. The little guy is old now and seems to have lost most of his hearing and much of his sight. But there's nothing wrong with his nose. He must retain most of the 300 million olfactory receptors dogs are reputed to have because he seems to enjoy sniffing now more than ever.

But he's not the only one. Every day on our strolls together (and on my solo walks), I take a deep whiff of lilac. Say what you will about stopping to smell the roses, it's the lilacs I walk across the street to inhale.

Savoring their delicious aroma gives me a hint of the pleasure dogs take in their own frequent sniffing. It is, then, a unifying activity, one that reminds me that we are "elevated apes" rather than "degenerated angels."

(I first read this quotation in the book Love, Sunrise and Elevated Apes, by Nina Leen, a volume I treasure for its wisdom and photography.) 

Intentionality

In the guided meditation I've been doing through work we've been exploring the idea of intentionality, of directing our practice toward others who will benefit from it, those at home or in the (now virtual) workplace.

It's something I recall doing at a yoga class I took years ago, devoting the effort, the realizations and the calmness to a cause beyond ourselves. Back then one or two of my children were still in their teenage years, so I never had a lack of intention.

But I've realized today as I've pondered this practice (not during the meditation itself, oh no, never then; I'm not thinking about anything then!) is that it's familiar from even longer ago. It reminds me of something I was taught in my Catholic grammar school, which was to "offer up" our daily trials for the poor souls in Purgatory.

I'm not sure Purgatory is still a thing (a place?) anymore, but the notion of directing our collective effort toward a greater good very much appeals to me. It means that there is a reservoir of good will abroad in the land that we can add to and draw from as needed.  And surely we could all benefit from that.

Limit Two

The grocery store signage of the hour doesn't advertise the latest sale, doesn't promise half price or double coupons. The grocery store signage of the hour says "Limit Two." Customers are told they can buy no more than two liquid soap dispensers, two gallons of milk, two dozen eggs, two pounds of butter and two boxes of pasta.

It is the language of scarcity, the language of a pandemic and, in this topsy-turvy world in which we now live, perhaps also the language of the future.

Are we, after so much abundance, entering an era of scarcity? It certainly seems so. There are fewer jobs, fewer certainties — and most definitely fewer rolls of toilet paper.

But even after the production of goods has been ramped up I wonder if we will keep the "Limit Two" mentality. It wouldn't be such a bad thing. Because what Limit Two does most of all is to acknowledge that there are those who come after us — and they will be wanting their milk, eggs and butter too.

(Photo: NJ.com)

Long Woods Walk

Yesterday, I went out early for the weekly groceries, donned mask and gloves, observed social distancing, came home and wiped everything off before putting it all away and then decided ...  I needed a walk. And not just any walk — but a long woods walk.

I took a Reston path that leads to the Cross County Trail. It's a section of the CCT that I often stroll, but yesterday I went further, into a place where the first sign you see warns you of snakes in the area.

It's a fitting intro to a wilder, more hike-like area. It was easy to imagine I was miles away not just from desk and to-dos — but also from the section of trail I just covered.

I nodded to a father and two sons jogging down the trail; to a man and his children who were exploring ants on a log; and to several others out enjoying the sun and pretending this was an ordinary spring Friday.

The music in my ears seemed redundant, so I pulled out the buds and listened to woodpeckers and robins. I stopped on a bridge over the Snakeden Branch Stream and heard the water talk to itself. How lovely and clear it looked as it tumbled over rocks, all white and frothy as it landed.

It was almost two hours later when I got back to the car. The walk had turned into a hike. The day seemed larger and brighter than it had before.

Old Blue Shoes

I had been meaning to replace them late last year, then in January ... and February ... and March. But by the time retail shopping shut down last month I still hadn't bought a new pair of running shoes to replace my beat-up, ratty-looking old ones.

It's not as if I couldn't purchase a pair of replacements online. But I like to try on shoes before buying them.

So I soldier on, hoping the toe hole won't grow much larger, hoping that the soles won't shed any more rubber, that the heels won't grow any lumpier than they are now.

Making do. It's what we do now.

(This title a tip of the hat to New Blue Shoes, one of Claire's favorite books when she was a little girl.)

Cold Air, Cut Grass

If the aroma of cut grass is the soul of summer, then how do you describe the way it smells on a cold April afternoon? To me there has always been something both melancholic and hopeful about the scent.

It's the promise of warmth, not the actuality. But it's also freshness without qualification; when it's young and hungry, when its juices flow freely.

To catch a whiff of a freshly mown lawn on a brisk spring day is to imagine all the delights that lie in store. But it's also to imagine how quickly they can wither.

It is the seasonal reverse but the poetic equivalent of what Gerard Manley Hopkins describes in Spring and Fall:

It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

Breathing

If someone asks me a few months from now how I got through the quarantine,  I will say, well, I kept breathing. This will sound flippant and I won't mean it to.  It's not just that I kept breathing. But I've kept breathing.

The italics are important. They denote not just the unconscious, staying-alive kind of breathing, but also the breathing that's suggested in guided meditations and yoga classes, which I've been taking plenty of these last several weeks.

This is focused breathing, in-and-out-through-the-nose breathing or sometimes in-through-the-nose-out-through-the-mouth breathing. It's putting one hand on my heart and one hand on my stomach and feeling the breath moving through my body. It's becoming aware of the rise and fall, the inflow and outflow.

I'm a remedial meditation student, but I am learning to appreciate the power of deep breathing to settle the mind and calm the body. Breathe in, breathe out. Ah, that's better.

Brown Butter to the Rescue

I've been late to jump on the baking bandwagon. Despite an accidental oversupply of flour — bought long before the pandemic emptied grocery store shelves of it — I've had neither the time nor the inclination to bake my way out out of this crisis.

Instead I've picked up my pen and my journal. I've taken two walks a day instead of one, or bounced on the trampoline in the backyard. Moving through space and time have been my remedies.

Until recently, that is. Yesterday, I finally used the stick of butter that had been softening on the counter for days to bake brown butter chocolate chip cookies, a delectable treat first shared by my daughter Claire from the Pioneer Woman Cookbook. These are made with tiny M&Ms, and the ingredient that sets them apart is the brown butter, which gives them a crispness and a richness that must be tasted to be believed.

So, for the second time in a week, I share a food picture.

We must be quarantined or something.

Quarantine Chalk Art

Rain has pummeled the Kwanzan cherry, sending a shower of petals to the ground. Rain has also washed away the chalk messages that have been decorating driveways recently. I've been counting on these cheerful words on my daily walks around the neighborhood.

"Happy Easter! Happy Spring!" says one driveway.

"Don't worry! Be happy!," says another.

And my favorite —"Flatten the curve" — is undoubtedly by a Dr. Anthony Fauci wannabe.

Chalk art is one of the unexpected blessings of the quarantine.  Though the rain has washed away one batch, I know that another will sprout as soon as the pavement dries.

(Photo: Courtesy La Mesa Courier)

Things Not Seen

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." 

This quotation popped into my head this morning. I had to google it to learn that it's from the Old Testament, not the New (Hebrews 11:1). But surely what it expresses is perfect for a day when Christians around the world celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

We are still in the tomb. Four weeks into quarantine, with a death toll that's just put the U.S. into first place in a tally we didn't want to win, it's easy to feel hopeless.

But — I remind myself on an early walk, looking at the purposeful new leaves of the dogwood — it's when we're in the tomb that we need hope the most.



 

Eggs-travaganza!

Even when it will just be the three of us for actual Easter dinner (as opposed to the virtual one that will take place on Zoom), I still make too much food. A huge bowl of ambrosia, and 18 eggs, which means 36 deviled ones.

I make too much food even when there's a crowd to consume it. So this year there will be leftovers galore. But they will be eaten, I'm sure of it (quarantines being good for cooking and eating, if not much else).

These deviled eggs — or dressed eggs, as I grew up hearing them called — were made the way I usually make them, which is by taste. I never recall using a recipe. Instead, I imagine Dad whipping up the yolks, adding vinegar and mayonnaise, asking us to taste and tell us if he had the balance right.  In my memory, he always did.

These eggs aren't exactly ready for a close-up, but they were made with love.

Wind Storm?

Just as light and weather have assumed new importance in life — since I see so much more of them working at home — so have the sounds I hear outside. Lately this has included sirens, chain saws and howling winds.

You can't blame the virus for the last two. They come with the season, which is unsettled, changing, one day balmy, the next day frigid. Two nights ago a terrible storm blew up in the wee hours. It sounded like the derecho I remember from years past, with its scream of a freight train barreling down on us, saying "take cover, take cover." The next day I awoke to the sound of chain saws whirring. Luckily, we were spared this time, but I counted more than a half dozen homes in the neighborhood with downed trees.

This morning I couldn't tell if what I heard was the lumbering of the garbage truck or another storm howling in from the west. Then I realized that it's Friday, the new (lone, weekly) trash pickup day. Ah, the relief at this realization. Knowing that it was not another wind storm, knowing that the foe we fight today is "only" the invisible one, the microbe — that it's not the weather, too.

That Other Life

In my closet are two pairs of black boots, one knee-high and the other ankle-height. Above them hang trousers, skirts, dresses and sweaters — seldom worn now.

On my dressing table four long pendant necklaces gather dust. A clutch of earrings do the same. A watch sits by them, still ticking but looking forlorn. And then there's the perfume bottle, which has scarcely been touched these past few weeks.

These are the accoutrements of my public persona, the things I don't bother with when I'm at home. Now it's yoga pants and sweatshirts, hair pulled back in clips.

It's comfortable, it's fun (for a while). But that other life had value, too. And now it seems ... far away.

Spy Wednesday

I'd never heard of Spy Wednesday until I began reading Niall Williams lovely This is Happiness (more about this novel when I finish it), which is set in the west of Ireland in the middle of the last century.

Spy Wednesday is the day before Holy Thursday, and it's all about ... Judas, the apostle who betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. "Spy" in this case means to ambush or scare and refers to the way Jesus was captured by Roman soldiers who had been tipped off about his location.

I learn from Wikipedia that Spy or Holy Wednesday services are still held, often with a Tenebrae service, in which candles are extinguished until only one remains.

In Williams' novel, Spy Wednesday is the day when the rain finally stops in the fictional village of Faha. Much of the action revolves around this day.

The rain has stopped here, too, and the sun is shining on the downed branches and trees from last night's wicked storm. It's placid here for the moment. A time to learn about an old rite — and meditate on an old wrong.

(A Spy Wednesday process in Spain. Courtesy Wikipedia)

Time to Savor

The backyard has become my secondary landscape, its trees and corners my escape hatch. Bouncing on the trampoline last evening, I marveled at the scene: low light touching leaf buds; the first green (which is gold) from the big front yard oak, which rises high above the house and at that hour was catching the rays of the setting sun.

After bouncing I lay out on the tramp to do some stretching. I kept my eyes on cirrus clouds floating lazily across the pale blue sky.  In my ears, some Enya, a studious avoidance of news.

There was little to interfere with the tableau. Few cars on the road so no loud engine noise. A still evening with no wind chiming. My work for the day complete, an evening of relaxation ahead. A sudden sense of satisfaction, of completion. This is what we have now. This is what we always have but don't have time to savor.

Respite in the Garden

Weeds don't care about viruses. They grow just as robustly during a pandemic as they do any other time. So yesterday I waded into the garden to pull out wild strawberries, dandelions and other invasive plants.

It felt good to have my hands in the earth and the sun warm on my back. It felt normal and pre-pandemic.

The mulch, when I spread it, had that same aroma it always does, and the back yard had the same discouraging bald patches it always does this time of year.  I'm hoping that our hard work now will pay off later — but, as always, I'm not counting on it.

(Violets are one weed I'll leave alone.)

Virtual Palm Sunday

I've been getting by this Lent with recorded services, special sermons and spiritual readings. But beginning today and for the next week, it will be, to say the least, quite strange.

A virtual Palm Sunday? Good Friday on the telly? And Easter with no live Mass, no big feast with ham and deviled eggs? And what of my decades-old yellow suit with the shoulder pads. I guess it will be staying in the closet this year (which, to tell the truth, is probably where it should remain).

Human beings are nothing if not adaptable, though. We've already begun planning Zoom family gatherings to touch base and check in. We will each make our own deviled eggs this year, our own hams and asparagus. We'll show off our feasts and toast each other in cyberspace.

But for today, it's the start of Holy Week and I sit in my living room scrolling through services. Do I want to live-stream from St. Patrick's or the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception? How do I want to celebrate Palm Sunday ... other than with no palms?

Viva La Cite!

Into my inbox this morning comes news from Jeff Speck, whose occasional newsletter I signed up for after reading one of his books on urban planning. Speck's headline "No, Cites Aren't Over," was a welcome counterbalance to my own recent post "Solace of the Suburbs."

When the question of urban density was raised at a public hearing about transit-oriented development, Speck says he reminded people that some of the countries that have best controlled for the virus are exceptionally urban ones — Japan, Korea, Hong Kong.

Also, he says, denser cities have the most patents. "Cities exist because they solve problems," he writes. The Black Death didn't do much to slow urbanization and was followed in short order by the Renaissance.  "So even though much of the ruling class has slipped off to their country houses a la Boccaccio, the future still lies in walkable urban places."

I want to believe that, too.

(From the Boston Globe via Jeff Speck's newsletter.) 

Day 21 and No Novel?

The headline caught my eye yesterday. "We have a lot more time now. Why can't we get anything done." What's happening with that novel? Where are those sonnets?

They're no further along than they were before, perhaps because we've lost the usual markers that make us more efficient, says the time management expert who wrote the article. Or perhaps — and this explanation is infuriatingly accurate — we just don't have the will.

The author, Laura Vanderkam, quotes the caption of a recent New Yorker cartoon: "Day 6. Couldn't decide between starting to write my novel or my screenplay. So instead I ate three boxes of mac and cheese and then lay on the office floor panicking."

Not exactly my life — but the windfall of time I thought would appear without commute, appointments or social engagements has not exactly materialized. I've tried to figure out where the time has gone. I've slept a little more and cooked a little more and worked a little more. Could that be where the days and weeks have gone?

Maybe living through a pandemic is not when you should expect to get caught up on all your creative pursuits — as well as staying in touch with friends and family and strategizing grocery store runs like battle campaigns. Maybe I should be content with whatever words I can eke out of the day, and with this as with so much else ... simply soldier on.

(This is an old photo of stickies pulled off page proofs I read with my old job. But they remind me of — sigh! — completed tasks.)

The Lounge

From my seat on the new living room couch (I still think of it as new even though it will be a year old next month), I can see the monitor I drug home from the office. It's sitting right where I put it on March 13, when I brought home file folders, plants and an extra pair of shoes. It's sitting on a table which was itself placed "temporarily" in front of the mantel.

With shelter-in-place edicts in force until June 10 in Virginia, it seems like a wise time to create something more akin to an office. But I'm so comfortable on the couch. And when I want a break, I stand up and work from the counter or take a quick stroll to stretch my legs. When I return, I plop into oversized chair that is, if anything, even more comfortable than the couch.

I think about the ergonometric chair I inherited back at the office, how tall and straight it made me sit. I examine my posture as I type these words, stocking feet propped up on the coffee table, laptop in lap. 

The question is not, can I lounge while working ... the question is, can I ever not lounge while working again?

April Fools!

With deep respect for the unprecedented situation in which we find ourselves ... today the universe has a chance to tell us this is all a big joke, that we aren't actually living through a pandemic. I doubt a chorus of "April Fools!" will be forthcoming, though.

In fact, I've heard that Google and other big companies will not be concocting their usual April 1st pranks out of respect for those fighting the coronavirus. A sound move for corporate PR — though not for those of us trying to approach the situation with the occasional leavening of humor.

So on this day I'm calling up the funny memes sent by my colleagues, including the ones you see here.

Happy April 1st ... or something like that!

(Thanks to all the members of the wonderful Winrock Comms Team!)